Silence of the Hams

Title : Silence Of The Hams

Author : Jill Churchill

Rating : D+

We have a book-exchange where I work, and with a witty title like Silence Of The Hams, I just had to take this book home and read it.

Alas, it was quite the disappointment. Mean Mr. Robert Stonecipher is found dead beneath a fallen rack of hams at the local deli. When his secretary also meets an untimely end soon thereafter, its time for soccer-mom Jane Jeffry and her best Shelley Nowack to take it upon themselves to investigate the deaths.

Think "Murder She Wrote", except make Angela Lansbury a divorced Mom, raising two kids. The story plods along with our pair of sleuthettes chit-chatting with all the suspects and frankly getting nowhere fast. Jane's BF just happens to be the detective working on the case, who keeps giving her (and us) unwitting updates on his lack of progress. How convenient.

Finally, 255 pages into the 278-page book, Jane decides to root through a bag of trash, picked up by her son, who conveniently works at the deli, who conveniently picked up the trash from around the deli several days after the "ham-incident", and who conveniently decided to bring said bag of trash home rather than throw it in a dumpster. Conveniently, there's the case-breaking clue in that trash.

I dunno. Maybe this was targetting an audience of Junior High girls. It has all the plot-tension of a phone directory. But no $$$ were expended, so my only investment was a couple hours of my time. And at least the book was fast-reading.

Jill Churchill's title motif apparently is witty take-offs of familiar book and movie titles. Besides SOTH, there are Grime and Punishment, A Farewell To Yarns, A Quiche Befor Dying, The Class Menagerie, A Knife To Remember, and Fom Here To Paternity.

I you enjoy Nancy Drew books, then this is your kind of story. Otherwise, it's skippable.