Friday, January 28, 2011

Worst Rock & Roll Song Ever

Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City" is often cited as the worst Rock & Roll song ever. Otherwise placid music lovers sometimes fly into rages when this song comes on the air. I admit it's not my favorite song by JS. But I can think of far worse songs by far cooler bands from that era. Below are a half-dozen that come to mind. In no particular order. . . 01. The Beatles - Revolution #9
A dozen minutes of the stoned Fab Four playing in the studio with sound effects and being obsessed with "Number Nine". What a waste of vinyl. Dudes, if you only had three sides' worth of material, save the last third for another album.
02. Paul McCartney - Silly Love Songs
Was Karen Carpenter's ghost dialing up Paul's subconscious? Is this what happens when you try to compose a song without psychedelics? Simply terrible.
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03. Jimi Hendrix - Star Spangled Banner
Yeah, it was a great symbolic protest. But musically, it was insufferable. Six notes of the anthem, followed by noise that only a thrash-metal head would tolerate. At least he didn't repeat the words "Number Nine" umpteen times.
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04. The Doors - Touch Me
The Doors sell out to a corporate edict to cut a track that the radio stations would play. Thank god this cop-out only lasted one album. Any song that ends with the phrase "stronger than dirt" is wretched beyond all belief..
05. Rolling Stones - Angie
Mick, what happened? A few years earlier, you were singing about a girl that was "Under My Thumb". But by "Angie" you were reduced to a simpering wimp. Who was squeezing your cajones while you wrote this tripe?
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06. Pink Floyd - Have A Cigar
I admit - this is a good song. But it makes the list for its utter hypocrisy. Wish You Were Here was one of the first LP's that saw a $2-$3 price jump by the record companies. And all us financially-strapped Floyd-fanatics had no choice but to acquiesce, since yooze guys rock! But did you have to rub our noses in it?
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Okay, there you go. 6 songs that are far worse than We Built This City. Feel free to dispute these, or suggest your own; but keep it civil. I deliberately avoided uncool groups. Let's face it, all of Michael Bolton's songs are worse than any of these. These are all groups I happen to like a lot. But even the great ones can occasionally put out a stinker.

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