Vocabulary word for the day

Onomatopeia. What an awesome word! Right up there with Brouhaha and Susurration.

HoneyBee - In Memoriam

HoneyBee, the truth is - I was against you coming to live with us. We already had two dogs, and didn't need a third. Huxley and Mr. Jynx are males. Would they fight over you (even though all of you are fixed); or would they turn on you, an interloper? You were older than them, and you were damaged goods. . You had lived a rough life. You had at least four other owners, one of which, early on, abused you to where you were now scared of all humans. More recently, you had lost a fight to see who was the alpha-female, and it had cost you an eye. Now, you were confined to a small cage 23 hours each day, for your own protection. . I hemmed and hawed and gave my very logical arguments to Liz as to why we shouldn't take you in. She listened and smiled, and nodded her head, then did what she had done with each of our other four dogs - just went out and got them. And one afternoon, I came home, opened the door, and there in the hall you were. . You came as advertised. You fled from us humans. At night you hid somewhere, while Huxley and Jynx slept with us on the bed. But that only lasted about a week. You warmed your way onto the bed, under the covers, and into our hearts. . Huxley and Mr, Jynx accepted you as one of the group. You quickly learned how to use the doggy door and readily went on our twice-a-day walks, even though your short, Pekinese legs meant you had to jog to keep pace. And before I knew it, you had become Daddy's Little Princess. .

And a princess you truly were. Our other dogs would jump down off the bed, but not you. If we weren't in the bedroom, you woofed for us to come get you down. If you had to get down in the middle of the night to go potty, you'd stomp on my feet until I woke up and put you down. If you thought Momma was a bit tardy in getting you your supper, you'd woof at her. And if your food was too hot or too cold, you wouldn't eat it until she made it "just right".

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You and I had our (weekday) morning ritual. While Huxley and Jynx always got up with Liz, you stayed under the covers. I woke you up with a 5-minute scalp and tummy massage as you did your morning stretching. Then after I got up to take a shower, you stayed under the covers until Liz came in and got you up for the morning constitutional.

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Did you know you saved a life, HoneyBee? Our friends, Daniel and Lupe, were amazed how well you handled your one-eye handicap. One day, they saw a poor, sad, one-eyed cockapoo puppy at the pound. For a handicapped dog, a stay there is a 72-hour death watch. Nobody adopts "damaged goods".

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But because of you, Daniel and Lupe took her home and named her Sofie. I just saw her again yesterday. Sofie's a bundle of energy, loves her owners and new life, and just like you, is spoiled rotten.

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Gradually your abused past faded from your memory and you overcame your phobia when people came to our house. Eventually, you even let them pet you. Which is good, because both adults and kids found you irresistably adorable.

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Time flew by - we had you 5 years I think. And the day came when the two-a-day walks/jogs became too much for you. So when the leashes came out, you'd retire to the bedroom or backyard. That was to let us know you'd be skipping the constitutional. But always when we got back, you were there to greet us at the door and to remind Liz by wagging your tail that it was "treat time".

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Now you're gone. And writing this eulogy today opens wounds I thought had healed. I hope we made the latter half of your life a warm and wonderful time. You enriched our lives more than you could ever know. I will never forget you, HoneyBee.

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But you still have one more miracle to work - one more life to save. Liz has been hinting we should add another female to the brood - go rescue one from a shelter or pound. I've told her that we don't need a third dog, and that I'm not emotionally ready yet, and that it certainly can't be done until I write my farewells to you.

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And Liz nods her head, and smiles, and listens to my logical arguments. And one of these afternoons, I'll come home, open the door, and there in the hall will be...

Eh?

This is today's B.C. It's bad enough that I don't fully understand the humor (is she lying about how many strokes it took her to get to the green?). But what is even more mysterious is how the hole itself magically shifts over closer to Curls between the first panel and the last.

Something's rotten...

... and it ain't in Denmark.

Tolstoy quote

Tolstoy rockz! But I still have no inclination to read any of his 800-page works. Particularly, War And Peace.

Best pun (so far) of 2011

From the fantastically talented mind of Justin Thompson at Mythtickle.

Book Excerpt for the Day

But I still state unhesitatingly, that for pure, vacillating stupidity, for superb incompetence to command, for ignorance combined with bad judgement - in short, for the true talent for catastrophe - Elphy Bey stood alone. Others abide our question, but Elphy outshines them all as the greatest military idiot of our own and any other day. .

Only he could have permitted the First Afghan War and let it develop to such ruinous defeat. It was not easy: he started with a good army, a secure position, some excellent officers, a disorganized enemy, and repeated opportunities to save the situation. But Elphy, with the touch of true genius, swept aside these obstacles with unerring precision, and out of order wrought complete chaos. We shall not, with luck, look upon his like again.

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(from Flashman, by George MacDonald Fraser)

Furniture Marauders

Yeah, we have some of these monsters in our house. Most notable, the two posts at the foot of our bed, which can, and have, nailed Liz and me. The couch in the living room has assaulted our toes, and the chandelier in the dining room attacks anyone 6'1" or taller.

Textless Friday

About Wisconsin

Yes, I'm middle management. Nevertheless, I am a strong supporter of Labor Unions. And after watching Wisconsin Republicans try to blatantly screw them out of existence, I support them even more. Methinks the teabaggers have over-reached this time.

Book Excerpt for the Day

Like most scavengers, Joshua thought he knew the Laymil well enough to build up a working image. In his mind they weren't so much different from humans. Weird shape, trisymmetric: three arms, three legs, three stumpy serpentlike sensor heads, standing slightly shorter than a man. Strange biochemistry: there were three sexes, one female egg-carrier, two male sperm-carriers. But essentially human in basic motivation; they ate and shitted, and had kids, and built machines, and put together a technological civilization, probably even cursed their boss and went for a drink after work.

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(from The Reality Dysfunction, by Peter F. Hamilton)

My newest invention

Cool, huh? Actually, it's from the great online comic strip Toothpaste for Dinner.

The Acid Commercial

from Country Joe and The Fish. i have no idea which acid this refers to, and I'm a chemist. Nitric maybe? more likely Sulfuric. but it has a catchy tune.

Cinnabuns!

With all due respect to the Demotivational poster, a Cinnabun is my standard airport breakfast whenever I'm flying out of Sky Harbor on a business trip. Plus a coke. A diet coke, specifically. And because it's "diet", it cancels out the calories in the cinnabun. Really. Us scientists are experts on things like this.

Book Excerpt for the Day

Shakespeare and Milton may have done their best to spread acquaintance with the English tongue among the less favoured inhabitants of Europe. Newton and Darwin may have rendered their language a necessity among educated and thoughtful foreigners. . (...) . But the man who has spread the knowledge of English from Cape St. Vincent to the Ural mountains is the Englishman who, unable or unwilling to learn a single word of any language but his own, travels purse in hand into every corner of the Continent. One may be shocked at his ignorance, annoyed at his stupidity, angry at his presumption. But the practical fact remains: he it is that is anglicizing Europe. For him the Swiss peasant tramps through the snow to attend the English class open in every village. For him the coachman and the guard, the chambermaid and the laundress pore over their English grammars and colloquial phrase-books. For him the foreign shopkeeper and merchant send their sons and daughters in their thousands to study in every English town. For him it is that every foreign hotel- and restaurant-keeper adds to his advertisement: "Only those with fair knowledge of English need apply." . (from Three Men on the Bummel, 1900, by Jerome K. Jerome) . Coincidental fact : In today's Arizona Republic, there was a article titled "Speaking 2 Languages could delay Alzheimer's". Subtitle : "Study: Monolingual patients had earlier signs".

Yeah, I'm a chess geek...

... so I found this Baby Blues strip to be hilarious.

Readers without Borders

So long, Borders Bookstore. We've had a long and fruitful relationship, but I see you're filing for bankruptcy and closing 1/3 of your stores, including my "home store" here in Mesa, pictured below. The MSNBC article on your demise is here. . I'm gonna miss you. Yes, I think Barnes & Noble has a better (and wider) selection of books, but you had the more obscure ones, which always seemed to be what I was seeking out. Your choice of magazines was much better than B&N's. Once upon a time, your music CD selection was fantastic, but I can see why you had to slim it down. Almost every French and Spanish music CD I own came from you, and you were the only local place where I could find music from groups such as the Strawbs, Renaissance, Loreena McKennitt, and Tom Paxton. . Saturday, I will visit you and use all the Borders gift cards I got for Xmas. Gotta use them before your inventory gets too picked over. Lord knows, I don't need any more books. Last count on my TBR shelf showed about 80 there, and I've been slogging through a couple of thousand-pagers since the holidays, so the pile has not dwindled much so far in 2011. . I'm OCD, but I will learn to visit B&N regularly. Their store is actually closer to my house, but still, to quote Bill & Ted's Most Excellent Adventure, we fear change. At least you're not going fully out-of-business. For now.

Book Excerpt for the Day

"They will have a nice, neat, pedantic definition of sapience, tailored especially to exclude the Fuzzies, and they will present it in court and try to get it accepted, and it's up to us to guess in advance what that will be, and have a refutation of it ready, and also a definition of our own."

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"Their definition will have to include Khooghras. Gerd, do the Khooghras bury their dead?"

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"Hell, no; they eat them. But you have to give them this, they cook them first."

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(from Little Fuzzy, by H. Beam Piper)

Goose Creek Symphony concert

We saw Goose Creek Symphony on Saturday and they were AWESOME. This time, we even got to sit, which wasn't true for the two previous concerts we went to at The Rhythm Room. The trick is to get there 20-30 minutes before the doors open, which in turn open an hour before the concert starts. . Between this pic and the third one, you can see all seven members of the band. A pair of drummers; a fantastic fiddle player (requisite for any bluegrass band); and four guitars (two lead, one bass, and one acoustic). And yes, that's Yoko Ono sitting right in front of us. . They played for two hours. It was a nice mix of their well-known but older stuff, and their newer songs. I snagged me two of their newer CD's (I've already converted the four LP's from their heyday in the 70's); and a tie-dyed GCS t-shirt. .

The audience was almost entirely 50-somethings. All the guys seemed to have pony-tails which made me jealous. The place was packed.

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Coming to The Rhythm Room next month are Savoy Brown (a superb blues-rock band) and Al Stewart ("Year of the Cat", "Time Passages", etc.). Unfortunately, both are on weeknights, which lessens the chances of me going.

No text needed

Whither Egypt?

Farewell, Mubarek! I for one liked your final ruse - vowing on TV to stay on, then ducking away while everyone raged about your speech. . So now what's in store for Egypt? And the rest of the Arab world, for that matter. Wingnut Glenn Beck says the Islamo-Communists are about to establish a giant kingdom stretching from Pakistan to Morocco. So, Glenny-Poo, the image above is for you. It should be noted, however, that even fellow Wingnut Bill Kristol found Beck's scree too idiotic to take seriously. . The short answer to "Whither Egypt" is - wherever the military decides. But the longer answer lies in whether the underlying issue that brought about these protests is addressed.

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And that issue is : the redistribution of the wealth-&-power in Egypt. This applies to the rest of the Arab world as well. An elite few sit at the top; and everyone else is consigned to poverty and starvation. As long as that bleak future is inevitable for 90% of the population; turmoil, resentment, and seething despair will reamin. And grow.

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Of course, when you are used to living in a plush mansion, with all the money you can dream of, and with almost complete power over the ragtag masses; you might have some hesitation about allowing genuine reform to occur. For you, "redistribution" can only mean less power, less money.

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But consider the alternatives, o ye of the Elite Few! You can squelch or emasculate the current Democracy Movement. But only for a time. You have the guns, but they have the numbers. The generals share in the money and power, but the soldiers come from impoverished families. You can allow an orderly reform now, or you can wait for a violent revolution in a couple years. Share the wealth now, or be strung up on a lamppost later.

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Choose wisely, Egypt.

RIF Reminder

A bit stereotyped, but the message is still good. Reading Is Fun. I finished a 1000-page book last week (Infinite Jest) and am currently working through an 1100-page one (The Reality Dysfunction). I'm also reading a shorter book (Three Men on a Bummel) during my lunch hour at work. . But any kind of reading, and any kind of book is time well-spent. Liz likes harlequin romance books. No problem. Diff'rent strokes fo' diff'rent fokes.

Craigslist and Cell-Phones for Dummies

Excuse me, Mr. Christopher Lee, Republican congressman from New York. We need to talk about cell-phones and CraigsList, particularly if you plan to start up an affair. . Sending beefcake pics of yourself via your phone is called "leaving a trail". Which could be embarrassing to try to explain to your wife and son. It's also a stoopid way to try to start up an affair, especially since you haven't even met the woman with whom you are flirting. Craigslist is not exactly the most discreet of resources. . Seriously, are you so f**king ignorant about this stuff?? It's almost as if you wanted to get caught. WTF were you thinking? .

Yeah. Family Values Party, my butt. What a bunch of f**king hypocrites. You can read the MSNBC article on this here.

For Math Geeks only...

Book Excerpt for the Day

"Katherine, I will tell you a story about feeling so bad and saving a life. I do not know you but we are drunk together now, and will you hear the story?"

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"It's not about Hitting Bottom ingesting any Substance and trying to Surrender, is it?"

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"My people, we do not hit the bottoms of women. I am, shall we say, Swiss."

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(from Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace)

Helen Mirren - Then and Now

As I was watching the movie "Red" a couple weeks ago (reviewed here), I kept thinking that I had seen the female lead, Helen Mirren, somewhere before. . I had. It turns out that many years ago, she played Morgana in that most excellent flick, Excalibur. She has aged gracefully well, hasn't she? .

Book Excerpt for the Day

"Shall we see her?"

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"We? My dear Russell, I am the husband of an emancipated woman who, although she may not yet vote in an election, is at least allowed to see her own friends without male chaperonage."

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"Don't be an ass, Holmes. She obviously wants to see both of us..."

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(from "A Letter Of Mary" by Laurie R. King)

Friday Night Demotivation

Ode To Winter

Poor, poor, pitiful us! It got down to 27°F last night, and it will be just as cold tonight. Too bad the nearest precipitation is about 500 miles away. . BTW, Ms. McIntyre also wrote a poem called "Summer". You can pretty much guess how it goes.

You call that a storm??

Well yeah, I do. A freakin' continent-wide storm. It kinda reminds me of the picture below, which is from a year ago.

Quote for the Day

"Why are Americans such wusses? Threaten the Greeks with job losses and benefit cuts and they tie up Athens; but take away Americans' jobs, 4o1K's, even their houses, and they pretty much roll over. Tell British students that their tuition is about to go up and they take to the streets; American students just amp up their doses of Prozac... . "During the Depression of 1892 to 1896, unemployed workers marched to Washington by the thousands in what was then the largest mass protest this country had seen. In 1932, even more jobless people - 25,000 - staged what was, at that time, the largest march on Washington, demanding public works jobs and a hike in the inheritance tax. From the 60's to the 80's, Americans marched again and again - peacefully, nonviolently and by the hundreds of thousands - for civil rights, women's rights, gay rights, economic justice and against wars." (Barbara Ehrenreich) . Having marched in the streets of Tempe and "liberated" one of the fountains at ASU (in the name of the Viet Cong) in my salad days, I have to ask the same question. We're being cowed by the gun-rights crazies, buggered by the banks, and raped by the racist Right. . Since when do we need a permit to demonstrate? Since when do the authorities tell us where we can march? . Take a lesson from the Egyptians. We have the right to protest, and if we unite in a cause, we will prevail. So get out there and demonstrate against something. Racism. Bank foreclosures. Wall Street greed. Lousy Phoenix sports teams. Power to the People!

Red (the Movie)

Movie Release Date : 15 October 2010

DVD Release Date : 25 January 2011

MPAA Rating : PG-13

Length : 111 Minutes

Overall Rating : 7*/10

. Bruce Willis is content to be retired from the CIA and hitting up by phone on some girl who sends him his checks, until a hit squad from his former employer arrives to take him out. Naturally, he ices the whole squad (hit squads are incredibly inept. just ask Jason Bourne), but they demolish his house, so it's off and running until he can figure out why they want to kill him and/or someone runs out of ammo. . What's To Like... It's a geezer-studded affair. Willis does a decent job, and Morgan Freeman is in it, which is always a plus. It was cool to see 90-something Ernest Borgnine (McHale's Navy); but it is John Malkovich who frankly steals the show. Geezerette Helen Mirren is also in it, who I was supposed to know, but didn't. In wiki-ing her, it turns out a long time ago, she was Morgana in the awesome King Arthur flick, Excalibur. Whoodathunkit? . There's lot of action, lots of shooting, and plenty of humor. On the downside, the plot makes zero sense, so check your brain at the door before watching this one. . Two BTW's. "Red" stands for "Retired, Extremely Dangerous". And in Bulgaria, the movie is called "Besni Strashni Pensii", which means "Furious Frightful Pensioners". . This was my first movie of 2011, and overall, despite the plot loopholes, it was fun to watch. I mean, do we really care if a Bruce Willis flick makes any sense? Body counts and wit are all that matters. 7 Stars.

Cameo Ball - 2011

For the second year in a row, we went to the Cameo Ball. So for the second year in a row, I got to whine about having to dress up in a tux, keep my hair combed, and hang out at the Scottsdale Hilton. At least I managed to avoid having to dance this year. Ah, but it was all for a good cause (Eve's House), and hey... . ...we were the dashingest couple there last night. :-)

Book Excerpt for the Day

The orc encampment steamed gently in the sunshine.

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Barashkukor, leaning scabby elbows on the parapet of the Nin-Edin fort, gazed down from the mountainside at a wilderness only the vultures could love. He tilted his dented helmet back on his head. "So what do you get if you cut the legs off a warrior?"

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Marukka gave a baritone chuckle, waving her jagged sword in the air for emphasis. "A low-down bum!"

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(from Grunts!, by Mary Gentle)

Worst Rock & Roll Song Ever

Jefferson Starship's "We Built This City" is often cited as the worst Rock & Roll song ever. Otherwise placid music lovers sometimes fly into rages when this song comes on the air. I admit it's not my favorite song by JS. But I can think of far worse songs by far cooler bands from that era. Below are a half-dozen that come to mind. In no particular order. . . 01. The Beatles - Revolution #9

A dozen minutes of the stoned Fab Four playing in the studio with sound effects and being obsessed with "Number Nine". What a waste of vinyl. Dudes, if you only had three sides' worth of material, save the last third for another album.

02. Paul McCartney - Silly Love Songs

Was Karen Carpenter's ghost dialing up Paul's subconscious? Is this what happens when you try to compose a song without psychedelics? Simply terrible.

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03. Jimi Hendrix - Star Spangled Banner

Yeah, it was a great symbolic protest. But musically, it was insufferable. Six notes of the anthem, followed by noise that only a thrash-metal head would tolerate. At least he didn't repeat the words "Number Nine" umpteen times.

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04. The Doors - Touch Me

The Doors sell out to a corporate edict to cut a track that the radio stations would play. Thank god this cop-out only lasted one album. Any song that ends with the phrase "stronger than dirt" is wretched beyond all belief..

05. Rolling Stones - Angie

Mick, what happened? A few years earlier, you were singing about a girl that was "Under My Thumb". But by "Angie" you were reduced to a simpering wimp. Who was squeezing your cajones while you wrote this tripe?

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06. Pink Floyd - Have A Cigar

I admit - this is a good song. But it makes the list for its utter hypocrisy. Wish You Were Here was one of the first LP's that saw a $2-$3 price jump by the record companies. And all us financially-strapped Floyd-fanatics had no choice but to acquiesce, since yooze guys rock! But did you have to rub our noses in it?

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Okay, there you go. 6 songs that are far worse than We Built This City. Feel free to dispute these, or suggest your own; but keep it civil. I deliberately avoided uncool groups. Let's face it, all of Michael Bolton's songs are worse than any of these. These are all groups I happen to like a lot. But even the great ones can occasionally put out a stinker.

Inspirational Quote for the Day

"Facts are for people who can't create their own truth."

. (from today's "Get Fuzzy" comic)

iTunes

Oh yeah! I done figured out how to set up iTunes and download music tracks from there tonight. Which means I can finally use the gift cards I got at Xmas. I even figured out how to convert their aggravating mp4a files into mp3 ones. Suck eggs, Apple!

Ni hao!

Wow! Steve Benson's calligraphy is much better than mine, unless he cut-&-pasted this. Which, given his artistic talent, I kinda doubt. Anyway, having studied Mandarin Chinese for two years a while back, I always enjoy posting something that has Chinese script in it. . FWIW, that really does say "China", and in Mandarin it's pronounced "Zhong Guo" (high tone, rising tone). And it's one of the few glyphs that I can still recognize.

Book Excerpt for the Day

He closed his eyes, still smiling. "Pick an apocalypse, any apocalypse. A sea of black oil and dead things. No wind. No light. Nothing stirring, not even an ant, a spider. A silent universe. Such is the end of the flicker of time, the brief, hot fuse of events and ideas set off, accidentally, and snuffed out, accidentally, by man. Not a real ending of course, not even a beginning. Mere ripple in Time's stream.

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I squinted. "That really could happen?"

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"It has happened," he said - and smiled as if it pleased him - "in the future. I am the witness."

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(from Grendel, by John Gardner)

RIP - Honeybee

Honeybee (aka : "the Princess")

b. : ca. 2000

d. : 20 January 2011

. Oh my beloved Honeybee. You will be missed more than you could ever know. I'm in no shape emotionally to write your eulogy for now; that will have to wait for a while. But I will write it. And we know that all dogs go to Heaven, which makes the emptiness without you a bit more bearable.