The Arizona Cardinals stunned the heavily-favored Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday 23-20, in a game shortened to 58 minutes so the NFL could donate two minutes-worth of Super Bowl electricity to the storm-ravaged, out-of-power residents of Kentucky. SuperBowl MVP Larry Fitzgerald scored the winning TD with 37 seconds remaining.
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Interviewed after the game, Fitzgerald said, "That play was open the whole fourth quarter. We knew we just had to have patience, and only run it when there wouldn't be enough time for the Steelers to stage a last-minute comeback. Now I'm going to finally get a raise".
Winning quarterback Kurt Warner had this to say : "I knew we were going to win. God told me this when He and I had breakfast this morning. He said He favored us because we have a 'churchy' name, "The Cardinals", and that glorifies Him. Now I'm going to Dollywood.".
Losing quarterback Ben Roethlisberger responded, "Of course I'm disappointed we only had 37 seconds left at the end. It would have been nice to have those 59th and 60th minutes. I'm also bummed that God was pulling for Arizona. Now I'm going to hie me to a nunnery".
NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell defended the power-donating decision, saying, "I don't regret it at all. The NFL cares about the community and I'm proud in knowing that we met our social responsibilities. Besides, the way Arizona was playing, Pittsburgh didn't have a chance. Now I'm going to sleep."
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Finally, Cardinals owner Bill Bidwell had this announcement, "I'm giving the entire Arizona Cardinals roster its unconditional release. I'll be (bleeped) if I'm going to give them all raises for this. I never asked them to make the playoffs, let alone win the SuperBowl. I'm going to field a team of high school all-stars next year. It'll be a great experience for the kids, and I don't have to pay them a dime. They need to keep their amateur status in order to play college ball. It's a win-win situation. Now I'm going to the bank to count my money"
NFL Commissioner Roger Goddell defended the power-donating decision, saying, "I don't regret it at all. The NFL cares about the community and I'm proud in knowing that we met our social responsibilities. Besides, the way Arizona was playing, Pittsburgh didn't have a chance. Now I'm going to sleep."
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Finally, Cardinals owner Bill Bidwell had this announcement, "I'm giving the entire Arizona Cardinals roster its unconditional release. I'll be (bleeped) if I'm going to give them all raises for this. I never asked them to make the playoffs, let alone win the SuperBowl. I'm going to field a team of high school all-stars next year. It'll be a great experience for the kids, and I don't have to pay them a dime. They need to keep their amateur status in order to play college ball. It's a win-win situation. Now I'm going to the bank to count my money"
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