Movies we'd like to see...

Sorry to hear you're sitting home, Brett, while the Green Bay Packers are one game away from the Super Bowl. Just think, though. If we could weave you into the Inception movie, you'd be able to turn the ball over on four whole different planes of reality!

Quote for the Day

"We've allowed the extremists to carry the day when it comes to guns in the United States, and it's the dead and the wounded and their families who have had to pay the awful price. The idea of having large numbers of college students packing heat in their classrooms and at their parties and sporting events, or at the local pub or frat house or gymnasium, or whatever, is too stupid for words." (Bob Herbert, via the Daily Kos)

Whatever happened to...

...the Hare Krishnas? I know they got booted out of the airports, but jeez, they used to show up in more places than that. . We had them at ASU when I was a student there. One of my fond memories is the main Hare Krishna dude and the biggest Campus Crusade freak going at it on the mall. Both screaming at the top of their lungs; both red in the face. For us spectators, it was a great show, well worth skipping class for. . They used to have a temple at the western tail end of Tempe. Actually, it was just a rundown house they bought and used. One night, when our group was very bored and ...er... very wasted, we went down there for a visit. We chanted with them and hopped around. We partook of their evening meal - various fresh fruits in a sweet paste. They called it "pashad" (sp?). They kept repeating : "Have some of our very nice pashad!" They were very happy to have visitors. . We stayed for their nightly Bhavagad Gita study, and had to stifle our giggles because one of the devotees kept falling asleep during the teaching. That was hard to miss because he was sitting in the lotus position. Which means as you fall asleep, your head inevitably dips towards your navel. The head honcho had to keep giving him quick, sharp raps to his knees. . So I miss those saffron-robed, pony-tailed freaks. They were good, cheap entertainment. I imagine they're still around somewhere here in Phoenix. I just don't know where.

Happy Martin Luther King Day!!

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom." (Martin Luther King) .

Book Excerpt for the Day

When Glamour was sixteen, working in Hollywood as a location extra for his uncle's Gaelic Little People, Ltd., a friend had slipped him a tab of sunshine at Coyote Farms' backlot. The world had taken on its proper dimensionality: they spent the afternoon climbing a tree, admiring the action of the bark and light and time. Now the third and fourth dimensions were there again, without the tree.

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(from Voyage to the Red Planet, by Terry Bisson)

Yo Mama Jokes (by Physicists)

Physicists are to the Scientific World what poodles are to the Dog World. Cute in a dim-wittedly sort of way, and embarrassingly dull. . Full Disclosure : I did crappy in my physics classes, and found the subject to be more boring than even straight math. "Physics with Calculus" is the worst of both worlds.

Wednesday Motivational Poster

No further comment necessary.

Ya think?

Nah. Teabagger posters like this couldn't possibly suggest to nut jobs like Jared Loughner to go out and blow a bunch of Democrats away. It's all in good fun, and dittoheads of course understand that, cuz they're such genteel, cerebral types. . Idjits.

Arizona Quote for the Day

"The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. The vitriolic rhetoric that we hear day in and day out from people in the radio business and some people in the TV business... This has not become the nice United States that most of us grew up in. It's not unusual for all public officials to get threats constantly, myself included. That's the sad thing about what's going on in America : pretty soon we're not going to be able to find reasonable, decent people willing to subject themselves to serve in public office." (Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik) . As contrasted to Failin' Palin's screed, below... .

Thanks, Sarah. Gabby sends her regards. You dickbrain.

RIF Quote for the day

"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." (Joseph Brodsky)

WTF

It is prudent to stay au courant with the latest acronyms.

The "N" word

I admit it. The "N word" strongly offends me. It grates upon my nerves every time I read it. Like fingernails on a blackboard. And I'm white. So I for one applaud NewSouth Books' announcement that they are going to publish a new issue of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn with the N-word (which is used 219 times therein) deleted. . Let's be clear. As this CNN article (here) points out - this is not about censorship. It is going to be obvious from the get-go what the missing word was. This is about a fine piece of American literature that at present is ruined by a word that may have been okay to use when Clemens wrote it, but is not acceptable today. . Nor is this about Freedom of Speech. You cannot yell "Fire" in a theater, and you cannot make a high schooler read/say this word, 219 times, by making Huckleberry Finn a required reading book. . Now I know the dittoheads are going to rail that black rappers use the word all the time. They do. Blacks can use the word; whites can't. Deal with it. Similarly, I can use the word Honky all the time to refer to myself or among my white colleagues, but if a black calls me that, I will get offended, and I will let him know that. . And I have no problem when Homophobes substitute the word homosexual for gay in their literature. It is apparent that the G-word offends them, so they have a right to interpose. I just find it amusing when Rudy Gay, star basketball player for the Memphis Grizzlies, ends up being identified as Rudy Homosexual. Ditto for the companies that edit all the cusswords out of various movies and re-issue sanitized versions thereof. That ain't for me, but if it unruffles your feathers, more power to ya. . Finally, I recognize that it may initiate some unintended backlash by various Luddites. The Texas Board of Education may now feel it is okay to do some substituting of their own in textbooks. They'll probably replace slavery with "benevolent caretaking", "The Civil War" with the second and sadly unsuccessful War of Independence, and William Tecumseh Sherman with "the 18th Century Anti-Christ". An hey, I'm even cool with that last one. . So Right On, NewSouth Books!! This has been long overdue, and I have a bunch of other books (including Steinbeck's fantastic The Grapes of Wrath) which need the same treatment.

RIP - Anne Francis

Anne Francis (aka "Honey West")

b. : 16 September 1930

d. : 02 January 2011

. Honey West was a "Man from U.N.C.L.E. wannabe" TV series, starring Anne Francis in the title role. It only lasted one season - 1965-66, because it was up against the fabuously popular "Gomer Pyle" series. Sheesh. What schlock we used to watch back then. . I liked the show - partly because it was very similar to another series, "Burke's Law", which starred Gene Barry. Indeed, the Honey West character debuted as a guest star on BL. . But let's face it, I was 15 years old at the time, and the Honey West character was one sexy lady. Plus she could kick a$$ and had a pet ocelot. How kewl is that?! . Rest In Peace, Anne Francis. 007 didn't hold a candle next to you.

Book Excerpt for the Day

Mr Motley stood and pushed the screen to the floor.

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Lin got half to her feet, her headlegs bristling with astonishment and terror. She gazed at him.

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Scraps of skin and fur and feathers swung as he moved; tiny limbs clutched; eyes rolled from obscure niches; antlers and protrusions of bone jutted precariously; feelers twitched and mouths glistened. Many-coloured skeins of skin collided. A cloven hoof thumped gently against the wood floor. Tides of flesh washed against each other in violent currents. Muscles tethered by alien tendons to alien bones worked together in uneasy truce, in slow, tense motion. Scales gleamed. Fins quivered. Wings fluttered brokenly. Insect claws folded and unfolded.

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Lin backed away, stumbling, feeling her terrified way away from his slow advance. Her chitinous headbody was twitching neurotically. She shook.

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Mr. Motley paced towards her like a hunter.

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"So," he said, from one of the grinning mouths. "Which do you think is my best side?"

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(from Perdido Street Station, by China Miéville)

I'll read Jane Austen when...

Actually, I'm reading a 1,000-page book right now (Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace), and just got done with a 700-page one (Perdido Street Station, by China Miéville).

Happy New Year!

May 2011 bring you peace, happiness, and a new puppy from your local Humane Society. Or a kitty. Or even a tiger.

It doesn't will confused me.

Using ambiguous tenses is only confusing to those who haven't yet mastered the art of Time Travel.

Quote for the Day

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." (Carl Sagan)

Moody Bluegrass

I came across this used-CD, a 2004 issue, while Christmas shopping. Since I like The Moody Blues and love Bluegrass, this seemed to be a nice fit. . Sadly, it wasn't. Oh, the Bluegrass was good - they even brought in Alison Krauss for big-name backing vocals. And the song selection was decent too. . But the bottom line is - the two genres don't go together well. Let's face it, we listen to Bluegrass for the pickin' and grinnin'. The vocals don't count for much (didn't anyone ever tell Bill Monroe he couldn't sing for sh*t), and the lyrics count for even less. Alison could sing us the words from the Sears catalogue and we wouldn't care. . OTOH, Moody Blues music is complex, tightly arranged, and the lyrics are an integral part. Forcing fiddle pickers to play Moody Blues songs is like making Michael Bolton do a Frank Zappa tribute album. So overall, Moody Bluegrass gets a 5*/10 rating. The effort was there, but it was doomed from the start. . Track Listing (best ones in pink) :

01.Lovely To see you Again

02. Land of Make Believe

03. The Voice

04. The Other Side of Life

05. It's Up to You

06. Ride My See Saw

07. I'm Just a Singer in a Rock & Roll Band

08. Legend of a Mind

09. Your Wildest Dreams

10. Nights in White Satin

11. Late Lament (this was terrible)

12. Never Comes the Day

Book Excerpt for the Day

Hunt had been born in New Cross, the shabby end of East London, south of the river. His father had spent most of his life on strike or in the pub on the corner of the street debating grievances worth going on strike for. When he ran out of money and grievances, he worked on the docks at Deptford. Victor's mother worked in a bottle factory all day to make the money she lost playing bingo all evening.

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(from Inherit The Stars, by James P. Hogan)

RIF - Xmas 2010

I hope everyone's Christmas Day was fabulous and Santa brought you lots of kewl presents. He brought me over 6000 pages of fantastic books to read in 2011. Iain Banks, Neil Gaiman, Ian Rankin, Peter Hamilton, China Miéville, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, and David Foster Wallace. Is that a great list of authors, or what?! . Yeah, it was a great trade for the cookies, milk, and coffee-with-Bailey's I left him.

Merry Christmas!

May peace and happiness abide and abound in your household this holiday season.

Book Excerpt for the Day

my neighbor gives me the key to his house

when he goes on vacation.

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I feed his cats

water his flowers and his

lawn.

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I place his mail in a neat stack

on his dining room table.

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am I the same man who planned to

blow up the city of Los Angeles

15 years ago?

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(from Charles Bukowski's "The Old Anarchist")

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I once vowed that I would blow up various Valley National Bank locations in and around Tempe. It had to do with them charging a $10 ISF fee when I was trying to close out my account at the end of a college year. I miscalculated (or they steered me wrong), and missed by 39 cents. For that I was penalized the ten dollars.

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It felt good to vent to all my friends and acquaintances, and threaten VNB with explosive catastrophes. Later on however, it occurred to me that if anybody ever really did start vandalizing VNB banks, I would instantly become the prime suspect.

My favorite Christmas CD's

Well not really. Although I did see a Flaming Lips Christmas CD today when I was out finishing up my shopping. I almost bought it, just cuz it seemed so bizarre. If I get motivated enough, I may go back tomorrow are snag it.

Book Excerpt for the Day

Florida's beauty creates the illusion of civilization. It is a thin but functional veneer, like fake-wood contact paper stuck to flimsy particle board. Glistening condos, palm trees down the median, corkscrew water slides and waiting lines of retirees spilling onto restaurant sidewalks at four P.M., hoping for a shot at an early-bird $3.95 Sterno tray of Swedish meatballs. Spring training, mermaids, trained whales. Brave New Disney World, where commercial microbiologists try to isolate the DNA responsible for bad thoughts and free will. Space shots and orange juice with more pulp and roadside hot dog vendors in T-backs causing traffic mishaps at the latest apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who chose to appear this time in squeegee residue on the plate glass of a financial tower on U.S. 19.

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(from Hammerhead Ranch Motel, by Tim Dorsey)

Waiting for Godot

Miss Emily on the left; Preacher on the right. Alternative title : Firesign Theatre's "Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him".

Fraggle Rock

(Sighs). Nowadays, they just don't make TV shows like they used to.

RIP - Captain Beefheart

a.k.a. Donald Glen Vliet. Born : 01/15/41. Died : 12/17/10. In the music world, where everybody tries to sound like someone else, you were an original. Unfortunately, that didn't translate into a lot of sales.

Tomorrow's Schedule

01. Quit dawdling.

02. Get my act together.

03. Stop playing HOMM-3.

04. Caffeinate.

05. Get my butt out the door and GET STARTED XMAS SHOPPING!

Book Excerpt for the Day

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose above the misty peaks of Imfaral. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.

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(from Towers of Midnight, by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson)

Wonderphilly Cliff Lee

The big news of the (sports) day is that Cliff Lee surprised all the experts by spurning the Texas Rangers and New York Yankees, and signing instead with one of his former teams - The Philadelphia Phillies. . Since I'm both a Phillies and Rangers fan, this is okay. Particularly since it means the "we don't win championships, we buy 'em" Yankees at least didn't get him. For the Phillies, it means a dynamite 1-through-4 starting rotation, and come Spring Training, they will probably be the oddsmakers' favorites to win it all next year. .

As a Texas Rangers fan, I suppose I should be upset about this, as Lee seemingly willed the Rangers to the World Series. last year. But the going price was a 7-year contract (6 years plus an option, actually), and summers can be brutal in Arlington. Lee would have been great next year as a Ranger, but for how long after that? Seriously, Texas' next major acquisition should be an indoor park. I don't see a top-flight pitcher ever signing a long-term contract with the Rangers until that happens.

Book Excerpt for the Day

"Father, what more should I do for the cleansing of my soul?" ventured Eluric, quivering to the last subsiding tremors of guilt.

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"Penance may well be salutary for you," admitted the abbot somehwat wearily. "But beware of making extravagant claims even upon punishment. You are far from a saint - so are we all - but neither are you a notable sinner; nor, my child, will you ever be."

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(from The Rose Rent, by Ellis Peters)

December Vacation

It's been a busy and successful year where I work. As with a lot of people in our Tech Services Dept, I face the end of the year with a poopload of vacation days and a need to use 'em or lose 'em. To accomplish this, I am off quite a bit in the near future. In fact, I only work two more days this month. . I haven't had many chances to time- and dimension-travel for a while, so I think I'll go hiking with my buds Xthnrr and Gnmmkq, under the dual suns on the planet Delvinium-25 (see above) and travel back 3,000 years or so for the Winter Solstice celebration at (what you folks call) Stonehenge. . Or go Christmas shopping. Which seems rather mundane, but would keep peace in the family.

Quip for the Day

"My faith in our Afghanistan mission will be restored when the president can pre-announce that he's making a trip there." (Bill in Portland, Maine; via Dailykos)

RIP - Elizabeth Edwards

Elizabeth Edwards

b. : 03 July 1949

d. : 07 December 2010

. Rest easy now, Elizabeth Edwards; your trials are over. You had a tumultuous life, but Lord knows, you would've made a fabulous First Lady. Hell, you would've been a better choice for Chief Executive than your cheating husband and/or the Alaskan idiot. .

Tuesday Punnery

RIP - Don Meredith

"Dandy" Don Meredith

b. : 10 April 1938

d. : 05 December 2010

. Yeah, I'm a Redskins fan. So we don't give a lot of press here to ex-Dallas Cowboys. But Don Meredith was the epitome of class. A good football player, and an excellent announcer on Moday Night Football. .

ASU 30 - UofA 29

It's been a miserable season for my Arizona State University Sun Devils, but at least it ended on a high note last night, when we whupped the Arizona Wildcats 30-29 in double-overtime. Blocking two extra point attempts, which was the margin of victory. . No, we won't be going to a Bowl game - for the third year in a row now. But we knocked UA down a couple of pegs. And we did it in Tucson, no less. .

So congratulations Sun Devils!! It makes me kinda wish I had remembered to watch it.

What makes my job exciting

Yeah, that's me he's talking about. Except that my title is Director of Quality Control, not Quality Assurance. And those poisonous spines were more of an irritant than an actual safety hazard.

Book Excerpt for the Day

"Why is it," Ash said under her breath, "that when the brown and sticky hits the fan, I'm always standing real close by?"

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Thomas Rochester shrugged. "Just lucky, boss, I guess..."

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(from Carthage Ascendant, by Mary Gentle)