YFKM - License Plate Recall

The state of Virginia recalled an offensive vanity plate today. You say you want to see it? Here it is : .

"14CV88"

. Revolting, isn't it? You can read about it here. Now folks, I find the White Supremacists a disgusting bunch of racists. But I'm not prepared to cede to them the numbers "14" and "88". Until this article hit the presses, I don't think any normal person would think twice about those numbers. And if a bunch of skinhead neo-nazis want it to be their own little coded message; well, so what? . I mean, what's next? How many other 2- and 3-digit numbers are we going to ban from vanity plates? Let's see now. I suppose we can outlaw "69", so that drivers don't get the uncontrollable urge to do sexting while they're driving. And "666" will certainly be offenisve to the Fundies. Then again, "777" promotes secular humanism, and "888" will offend Atheists. And to keep the triskaidekaphobiacs happy, "13" has to go. While we're at it, let's ban "42" because it's NOT the answer to life, the universe, and everything else. Have I missed any? . Now letter sequences are a bit more serious. I admit, I would be offended if the DMV issued me a plate with "KKK" on it. We'll skip the sexual triads (you can guess those already). A loyal Democrat might object to "GOP", while a loyal Republican may balk at "JFK". And things like "POT" and "LSD" surely send a subliminal message to try drugs. . While we're on the subject of vanity plates, I have to say that I've never even considered paying extra $$$ to get one. But if I did, the two I'd think about are "XQQQME" and "IMYY4U". The former really is appropriate if you ever saw my driving habits, and the latter is impressive for encompassing five words (six, if you want to really stretch it) in a mere six characters. . FWIW, the best vanity plate that I've ever actually seen was "RUADV8". Wow. Six characters, four words, and a complete, coherent, provocative sentence. How'd they slip that one by the DMV? . And no, the image above has nothing to do with the topic. Sadly, among the hundreds of jpegs stashed on my hard drive, I couldn't find any with a license plate. So you get an optical illusion instead.

YFKM : Understanding Electricity

"Police : Man urinating on power line electrocuted."

. Gotta wince at this one, although the above headline in today's Arizona Republic doesn't really tell the whole story. Read the details here.

YFKM - Tiger Woods speaks!!

It isn't fair. Tiger "Cheetah" Woods keeps hogging up all the YFKM entries. Today's MSNBC headline is shown below. The article is here. Some predictions are in order. .First, Mrs. Tiger won't be there. She's been positively uncooperative in this whole affair. Second, the "friends, colleagues, and close associates" mentioned in the sub-headline will be thoroughly touched. Tears will flow, hankies will get honked, group hugs will abound, and all of them will have heart-touching things to say to Tiger afterwards, conveniently just loud enough for the microphone to pick up. They're doing the sound-testing even as I write this. . Third, Tiger will tell you he's deeply sorry, but won't say exactly about what. Mostly he's sorry the media won't let this story go. Fourth, he'll tell you that "the overwhelming majority" of the reports of his infidelity are lies, although he won't tell you which ones are true. . Fifth, he'll tell you he's be working very hard to change his lifestyle, but he won't directly reference any of those phony "sightings" at the various sex rehab clinics that were "leaked" by his PR suits over the last few months. You're supposed to make that connection yourself. Sixth, he's going to announce he going back on tour (he needs the money for the alimony payments), but he won't be taking any questions about his personal life because "he's moving on" and wants you to do the same. . Oh and last but not least, he won't be flashing those new pearly-whites much, cuz he knows the gossip sheets are going to be comparing "before" and "after" photos. The implants have apparently healed, but are they really perfect replicas of the ones Mrs. Tiger knocked out? We'll see. . Good luck , Tiger. You scumbag. You can go back to golf anytime you like, but your womanizing is not going to be forgotten. Your integrity, and therefore your endorsement believability is irretrievably lost.

the debut of YFKM

"I have never felt so much female energy around me. I find that I can't take my eyes off them. I'm 99 percent sure I will leave this movie a lesbian." (Kristen Bell, to Health magazine, on working with Cher and Christina Aguilera in the movie "Burlesque") .Kristen. Sweetie. What did your publicist tell you about using your own brain to make statements to the press? . I think in three sentences you've managed to p*ss off just about everyone. The anti gay-rights folks now fear that their daughters will turn into lesbians if they watch a movie with sexy women in it. The pro gay-rights folks want to talk to you about your concept of "turning into" a lesbian. . And Cher and Christina said that the next time you so much as touch them on the set, they'll b*tch-slap you into the next time zone. . YFKM. As in "You're Freaking Kidding Me!" I think we'll develop this into a recurring feature here. Tiger's "rehab" is next.