Play Ball !!

After a 6-1 pasting of the Kansas City Royals, the Texas Rangers are atop the American League standings! Okay, so it's only the first day of Spring Training, and Detroit is also 1-0. But I'm sure this is a harbinger of the Rangers winning the World Series next October.

Because I am one...

Scientists don't let other scientists vote Republican.

Eluveitie

A pic of the Swiss group, Eluveitie, from the Wikipedia entry about them.

Eluveitie - Spirit

Artist : Eluveitie (2002 - present)

Album : Spirit (2006)

Genre : Folk Metal (+ Death, Pagan, and Celtic)

Rating : ***** ***½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Spirit was Eluveitie's debut album, if you don't count their earlier demo Ven. Their second album, Slania, was released earlier this year, but I haven't heard it yet.

Eluveitie is another promising folk-metal band, this time from Switzerland. The Korpiklaani influence is obvious, but if Korpiklaani leans a bit towards the folk side of folk-metal, Eluveitie leans a bit toward the metal side. Some of the lyrics are in English; some are in the dead language of Gaulish.

What's To Like...
The folk stuff is excellent; the metal stuff is good. The female vocals, as usual, are clean and beautiful. The two genres blend effortlessly with each other. A wide range of folk instruments are used. The energy is upbeat, and the tunes are head-bashingly catchy.

What's Not To Like...
Most of the male vocals are , of course, grunts. I know, I know; that's to be expected in Doom Metal, but sheesh, it gets old. The grunting is indecipherable, but that's okay, cuz you probably don't speak any Gaulish anyway.

It's time For A New Acronym...
I think I'll invent a new one : "SYGASA". Which for some reason, reminds me of that now-obsolete one, WYSIWYG. SYGASA stands for "Stop Your Grunting And Sing Already". Instead of repeating my whine on every review of Metal albums, I'll just write Sygasa, and move on.

But I digress. Despite the grunting (which Liz does not like one bit), this is an excellent album. It's exciting to think what this band could sound like once they get a couple more albums of seasoning under their belts. Slania is said to be more "mainstream-oriented" and "folksier", which should appeal to me. We shall see.

And BTW, you can find a couple Eluveitie videos/audios out at YouTube. Check 'em out there and see if you don't agree that this is an exceptional Folk-Metal group.

Michael Crichton - Next

Author : Michael Crichton (b. 1942)

Title : Next (2006; 528 pages)

Genre : Cri-Fi

Rating : C+

This Month I Read...
The latest offering from the author of Jurassic Park, Next is typical Crichton - exploring the potential, the perils, and the pitfalls of genetic engineering. From transgenic creatures to cures for diseases; from gene-snatching kidnappers to corporate in-fighting; there's a whole gamut of themes in the book.

What's To Like...
The transgenic critters will most likely be your favorite threads in the book. There's an Sumatran orangutan that enjoys cussing in French and Dutch; a talking parrot that can do math in his head and carry on intelligent conversations with humans; and Dave the half-chimp/half-human who has trouble "fitting in" as a schoolboy.

Despite its length, this is a quick read. Apparently Crichton has developed "James Patterson Symdrome" as there are 528 pages, divided into 95 chapters. So when you're ready to stop reading at night, you'll always be a page or two from the end of a chapter.

The book has a reasonably good ending, with some of the storylines being skillfully (albeit, somewhat incredibly) brought together.

What's Not To Like...
There are too many storylines, the majority of which you are going to have only a minimal interest in following. So there are some slow spots in the book. Indeed, one gets the feeling that Crichton had trouble deciding which of about two dozen storylines to put into the book, so he included them all.

Worse, as compared to Jurassic Park (and that comparison is inevitable), there's too much 'preaching' and technical warning, and not enough story-telling. Let's face it, while Crichton enlightens us as to the problems with cloning in JP, what we're really interested in is whether the velociraptors are going eat the good guys for lunch.

Of course, in JP, you had only 3 or 4 plots to follow; here you have more than a dozen. If you do the math (528 pages; 25% 'preaching'; and let's say 12 plots, just to be on the conservative side), each storyline here is going to get about 35 pages to come to full resolution. That's a whole bunch a shallow tales.

Life Is Like A Crash On The Freeway...
There was a forgettable movie a couple decades ago. IIRC, it had Robert "Wild Wild West" Conrad as a California motorcycle cop; it had Betty White (I think) as a middle-aged wife dying of cancer, and Buddy Ebsen as her husband trying to keep her from taking her own life. There were about a dozen other storylines-&-actors, none of which I remember anymore.

You spent the whole movie jumping around on these disparate stories, wondering how the heck they were going to tie in with each other. Surprise, surprise; they all were involved in a mega-car-crash on an L.A. freeway. Conrad goes flying through the air; Ebsen dies, leaving Betty White to try and carry on without him. And everybody else... well... like I said, it was a forgettable movie.

That's the way Next comes across to me. Too many plots, and not enough story-telling. It would've been better to only deal with the transgenic animals, and leave the legalistic and corporate woes to a 20-page sermon at the end of the book.

Despite its flaws, this is still Crichton, and he is still one of the better writers around. Heck, we named a genre after him. The transgenic animals are enough to make Next sufficiently engaging to read. So we'll give it a C+ and a lukewarm recommendation; and hope that the mouthy parrot, the foul-mouthed orangutan, and the monkey-boy show up in a sequel.

Mark Your Calendar !

On The Oceans Of Eternity

Author : S.M. Stirling (b. 1953)

Title : On The Oceans of Eternity (2000; 630 pages)

Genre : Alternate History (Part 3 of a Trilogy)

Rating : B

This Month I Read...
On The Oceans of Eternity is the third and final part of an Alternate History trilogy known informally as the Republic of Nantucket ("RoN") series. In RoN, the modern-day island of Nantucket is time-warped back to about 1250 B.C. and its inhabitants have to learn to survive. The first two books in this series have been reviewed here-(1) and here-(2).

OTOOE is primarily concerned with the marshaling of the forces of Nantucket and its allies (Babylon, Troy, England) as they try to out-flank and out-diplomacy the bad guys, who essentially control the entire Mediterranean Sea. There are a couple of side-plots (a 'Lewis & Clark' expedition to the Pacific by the good guys, and the courting and allying of Egypt by the bad guys); but those storylines are by-and-large peripheral.

What's To Like...
As usual, there's lots of action; both diplomatic and warfare. Once again, the bad guys aren't Ultimate Evil personified - they're innovative, calculating, Machiavelian, and ambitious. That's still a nice change from the simplistic "white hats / black hats" dualism present in most sci-fi stories.

OTOOE is a page-turner, and even comes to a dramatic conclusion; albeit enough 'loose strings' remain to where Stirling could've written a Volume 4 had he so desired.

What's Not To Like...
The usual minor irritations mentioned previously (voiding, weapons sounds, and "Ayup") remain. In addition, the final resolution of the build-up between the two equally-powerful forces left many readers dissatisfied. There are charges of plagiarism (from the Michael Caine movie "Zulu"), which I frankly find to be much ado about nothing.

Some feel that the character-development was shallow, but I find that rather petty. You have a choice - a fast-paced, action-packed trilology with moderate-to-minimal CD, or a 10-volume opus (a la Robert Jordan) with tons of CD. Personally, I like Stirling's choice.

Finally, there's no action happening on the Island of Nantucket. So the pages dealing with the politics and lives on the mother island are boring.

Do Publishers Dictate the Number of Pages in a Novel?
There's no doubt about it - the resolution of the conflict that's been growing for three books and 1800 pages is quite anti-climactic. A lot of readers feel Stirling lost interest and finished it up quickly and sloppily.

Instead, I get a sense of haste. The plot(s) in OTOOE are proceeding along nicely, up until around page 500, when everything suddenly goes into overdrive. I'm not an author, so I wonder : do publishing companies ever (try to) dictate the length of novels? After all, every printed page is an expense for them.

I imagine different authors would react in varying ways to such an edict. If James Patterson had to write a 400-page book, I think he'd let forth a loud moan, and divvy his book into 200 Chapters so as to have a lot of blank spaces on each chapter's first-page.

OTOH, any attempt to limit Robert Jordan to less than 800 pages per book, would probably cause him to kill off a few characters, or else add a couple more volumes to Wheel of Time.

So with OTOOE, I wonder if the deal was that it was to be 600 pages long, and Stirling looked up at Page 500 and freaked out. Maybe he called the publisher (ROC) and told them he couldn't possibly finish the story in the next hundred pages, so they told him, "Fine. You get 5% more pages. But not one page more." That would make 630 pages, which coincidentally is how long this is.

But I digress. The RoN trilogy gets an overall A rating and a "highly recommended" endorsement from me. Lots of action, lots of different places to read about, and the whole thing gets wrapped up in only three books. Considering the way Eric Flint's 163x series has become bogged down, and the way Harry Turtledove has to take 12 novels to tell the "If The South Had Won The Civil War" alt-stroy; it's nice to only have to make only a 3-book reading investment to fully explore this alternate timeline.

FWIW, many of the initial readers (back in 2000) felt that Stirling had left enough loose ends to write one more book in the series. But, as he hasn't done that in the last 8 years, I think in retrospect that was wishful thinking (which in a way, is a nice compliment re this storyline). Stirling did write a subsequent series ("Dies The Fire"), dealing with the changes wreaked upon the present-day world when Nantucket got zapped back to the Bronze Age. I haven't read any of those books yet, but they certainly look enticing. However, the next Stirling book on my TBR shelf is Conquistador. Stay tuned.

Monday Photoshop Fix

From the masters over at Worth1000.com.

Joseph Heller - God Knows

Title : God Knows (1984; 398 pages)

Author : Joseph Heller (1923-1999)

Genre : Literature

Rating : C

This Month I Read...
Joseph Heller's first work, Catch-22, brought him instant fame, but he never quite caught the magic thereafter. God Knows is his fourth novel, and is an autobiographical, Mel Brooksian look at the life of King David. Nearing his deathbed, David looks back on his life, giving his version of his encounters with Goliath, King Saul, Bathsheba, Absalom, Solomon, etc. Some have speculated that Heller is also reminiscing about his own life here, and that seems plausible to me.

What's To Like...
If you like Mel Brooks' (who was a friend of Heller's) humor, you'll like God Knows. There is a witty humor here that will have you chuckling a number of times. And while the overall tone can only be called "irreverent", it is obvious that Heller studied the life of David comprehensively before writing this.

There is a clever blending in of modern events into David's autobiography, and it works. All in all, this is a fresh, tongue-in-cheek way to present the life of Israel's second king.

What's Not To Like...
There is a lot of repetition here. This could easily have been pared down to a 250-page novel, and not have missed anything. Instead, the book drags in a bunch of places, and you'll find yourself skipping over the long paragraphs of commentary to get to the better, wittier dialogues.

Along the same lines, if you are not crazy about Mel Brooks' style of humor, you may want to skip this book. Ditto, if you aren't keen on a non-linear timeline, a la Kurt Vonnegut (who also was a friend of Heller's).

Finally, if you're a Fundie, and think things like Monty Python's The Life of Brian are blasphemous, stay away from God Knows.

Political Correctness in Literature.
It's probable that Jews would join the Fundies in expressing outrage at this book, except that Joseph Heller is Jewish. Which makes me wonder - are there certain subjects/literary treatments that only those of a certain religious, political, national, and/or racial persuasion can write?

What would've happened if Jospeh Heller hadn't been Jewish? Would there be cries of anti-semitism for presenting the likes of David, Yahweh, Moses, and Solomon (whom David calls "Shlomo") in such an unflattering, down-to-earth light? It's kinda like the N-word; blacks can use it, but it's taboo to everyone else.

There's something just a bit discomforting about these double standards. As long as they exist; religious, political, international, and racial tensions will continue to be present, no matter how hard we try to cover them up and pretend they aren't here.

But I digress. God Knows is an okay book, but it's plain to see why this isn't considered Joseph Heller's finest effort. It has some worthwhile moments, but you have to be ready for some dead spots in the book as well. If you can handle the latter, you will enjoy the former.

Sweep !!

Arizona State has swept the UA Mildcats in football, men's basketball, and women's basketball this year. The scores were...

Football

ASU 20 - UA 17 (01 December)

-

Men's Basketball

ASU 64 - UA 59 (09 January)

ASU 59 - UA 54 (10 February)

-

Women's Basketball

ASU 75 - UA 65 (12 January)

ASU 67 - UA 64 (08 February)

-

According to the Mesa Trib, this hasn't happened since 1981-82. My god, that's when I was in the 5th grade.

Happy Valentine's Day !

Sarah Brightman - Symphony

Artist : Sarah Brightman

Album Title : Symphony (2008)

Genre : Easy Listening (so sez Best Buy)

Rating : ***** **½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Sarah's back, with her first studio album in 4 years or so (last one : Harem in 2003). Whether you like her best as an opera-singer, a pop diva, singing in various foreign languages, or doing duets with various male hunks; you'll find something here to your liking.

What's To Like...
It's indisputable that Ms. Brightman has the best soprano voice in music today. With the possible exception of Posh Spice, and she doesn't count cuz she sings in a group. (JK) Symphony merely reaffirms Sarah's place at the top.

As always, the songs' arrangements and the studio mixing are first-rate. Brightman's voice blends nicely with all her duet partners. She even covers a Dead Can Dance song - Sanvean. How cool is that?!

What's Not To Like...
Unlike Harem and La Luna, this is not a concept album. While there's something here for everybody, the album overall is disjointed, and there will be parts that will be ho-hum (albeit different ones) for each and all of her fans. For me, it was the opera stuff. And there's a lot of opera stuff here.

There are also too many slow songs. Perhaps Sarah's tired from all the Harem touring. She's been in this business over 20 years now. Maybe it's time to do away with the dozens of wardrobe changes and simply stand on stage and do duets. Indeed, there is a feeling of "just going through the motions" that permeates this album.

Finally (and I admit I'm picking at nits), there's a "hidden track" at the end of the CD. C'mon folks. This was cute the first time someone did it, back when you needed something to balance out the length of both sides of a cassette tape. Anymore, it's pointless banality.

Everyone Wants To Be Someone Else...
Quick - name three (living) female opera singers. You can't count Beverly Sills; she passed away last year. Can't name three? How 'bout two? One maybe?

Here's my point. Tarja Turunen wants to be Sarah Brightman. Sarah wants to be an opera diva. And opera divas want someone - anyone - to buy a couple of their CD's. Why not stick to the genre(s) you're already good at, everyone? For SB, Harem and La Luna were great-selling albums that gave her a bunch of new fans. Those fans (okay, moi) want her to continue to do concept albums, that border on pop/easy listening. If we want to hear opera (and we don't), we'll pick up an Alma Gluck "Best Of" CD in the bargain bin.

But I digress. Symphony is not going to drive away Sarah's fans in droves, but it won't have them doing cartwheels either. The "good stuff" is very good (Fleurs du Mal; I Will Be With You; Running), but there's too much mediocre stuff to justify a superlative rating. We'll give it 7½ stars, and trust that next time, a four-year hiatus brings forth a better and more-focused effort.

We're Winning.... Just Kidding!

After months of telling us how pacified all those nasty Sunni provinces are, the administration is now saying the troops can't come home until we ...um... ...erm... "evaluate" some more.

Could it be that the White House has been lying to us?? That the almighty surge is just a game of whack-a-mole? Nah. Can't be. When has Dubnutz ever told falsehoods?

I Am Legend (the book)

Title : I Am Legend (1954; 159-312 pages)

Author : Richard Matheson (b. 1926)

Genre : Sci-Fi

Rating : C

This Month I Read...
I Am Legend is a recent, heavily-promoted movie; so it was natural that the book be re-issued as well. The central character, Robert Neville, is the last human being left in L.A. He is beset by vampires and infected mutants at night (he has to hole up in his fortress-like house); but during the day, he is the hunter and they are his prey.

The story chronicles his loneliness and personal loss, his crusade against the other creatures, his research into the cause of the plague, and his gradual accepting of his fate.

What's To Like...
For a 1954 novel, this has an outside-the-box plot. None of this "I vant to bite your neck" tripe. Instead, there's a nice blend of science and sci-fi as Neville tries to figure out what anti-vampire methods work (garlic and wooden stakes do, and the Crucifix works some of the time) and don't work (mirrors don't); and more importantly why each does or doesn't.

The book is a quick read. More on that later. Matheson's stories had a major influence on Stephen King. No less than three movies were made from this story - The Last Man On Earth; The Omega Man (with Charlton Heston), and the eponymous 2007 release.

Finally, Matheson's treating of the characters themselves is complex. There are no "white hats" and "black hats" here. Humans, mutants, and vampires - each is someone else's bane. That's quite unusual for a McCarthyism-era atmosphere.

What's Not To Like...
For an apocalyptic novel, there's not a lot of action. Neville has a couple close calls in getting back home before sundown, but that's about it. When he finally does meet another (seemingly) human being, one expects some excitement to start as he "makes contact". However, such is not to be. The story fizzles out to a tepid, yet unpredictable, end.

Worst - when you buy this book, you'll discover only half of it is I Am Legend. The rest of it is a collection of short sci-fi stories, presumably also by Matheson. Their quality ranges from mildly amusing to rather yawn-inducing. I don't fault Matheson for this deception, I fault Tor Books.

"Shouting his name in a paroxysm of fury"...
I Am Legend may be influential, but it doesn't stand the test of time. The lack-of-action makes the reading of this story a chore. I've heard the movie is quite different from the book, and in this case, that's gotta be for the better. So we'll give it a C, mostly for its originality, and be happy that people like Stephen King and Anne Rice came along to improve upon a good-but-could-be-better style of writing.

Super Tuesday - Final Tally

What excited me most was...

Mitt ... Rhymes With Quit

So long, Mitt. You weren't the worst of the GOPhead candidates, but you were the most unelectable. For that reason, I was kinda pulling for ya.

Tarja Turunen - My Winter Storm

Artist : Tarja Turunen (ex-Nightwish)

Album Title : My Winter Storm

Genre : Operatic Metal (or whatever)

Rating : ***** *½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Two years after being unceremoniously booted out of the symphonic-metal band, Nightwish, ex-lead-singer Tarja Turunen returns with her debut solo album, My Winter Storm. Ironically, Nighwish also spent two years working on their post-Tarja album, Dark Passion Play, which has been reviewed here, so the release dates are within a couple months of each other. Talk about awkward timing.

What's To Like...
It can't be denied - Tarja has the finest voice in all of Metaldom, and it is spotlighted on MWS. Opera-trained, all the songs here play to her forte.

The studio mixing is superb, which is quite rare for the Metal genre. The featured single from this album, I Walk Alone, is fantastic.

And as with DPP, you get your money's worth of music here - about 75 minutes.

What's Not To Like...
Where's the Metal ?!?! A lot of Tarjaholic MetalHeads are going to be disappointed here. There's only one song - Ciaran's Well - that even attempts to remind you that she used to sing in a Metal band.

While the mixing is excellent, the composing is frankly bland. Hey Tarja, kiss and make up with Tuomas Holopainen, and let him write the songs for your next album. You won't regret it.

Finally, whereas DPP was full of bitterness for Tarja and her husband-cum-business-manager, MWS wallows in self-pity. This was one nasty divorce.

If I Could Anybody I Wanted To Be, I'd Choose...
After two years of preparation, Tarja finally gets to "be herself". And it turns out that she wants to be... Sarah Brightman. Good luck, Tarja. You may have the best pipes in Metal, but SB can sing operatic circles around you. Perhaps you should consider sticking to Metal.

Rating MWS is difficult. A lot of people express their opinion of who's to blame for the Nightwish divorce by either giving this 1* or 10*. That's irrelevant. A lot of others give it a 5* "Average" rating. I assume these are the MetalHeads who were expecting (not unreasonably) a Nightwish-sounding effort. If Tarja persists in going the operatic route, I'm afraid she'll lose a lot of her fan-base.

Ultimately, your opinion of this CD will probably come down to what you think of Sarah Brightman music. If you happen to like SB (I do), then you will find MWS to be an above-average (but not great) album. If SB makes you retch and reach for your Spice Girls' Greatest Hits CD, you might want to pass on MWS. Still, if Tarja ever came to Phoenix, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

P.S...
Ms. Brightman also has a new album out, Symphony, which we'll review after listening to it a few more times.

PF Chang's Half-Marathon (a)

For the fourth straight year, Liz participated in PF Chang's annual half-marathon held here in Phoenix. That's her, on the left, way back there by the 17th palm tree. Just kidding. But this is a shot from the start of the race.

PF Chang's Half-Marathon (b)

And here she is, crossing the finish line, sandwiched between the two ladies in purple tops.

PF Chang's Half-Marathon (c)

Another shot, taken right after the previous one. Liz does the 13 miles with a friend, and they do a fast walk. Her times for the four years are :

2005 - 3 hours, 36 minutes

2006 - 3 hours, 44 minutes

2007 - 3 hours, 31 minutes

2008 - 3 hours, 30 minutes

This is the fifth year for the race. So she's been in every one except the first. FWIW, this is the largest combined marathon/half-marathon in the USA. Or so says the local newspaper.

PF Chang's Half-Marathon (d)

Finally, here's Liz, with her medal. It costs $75 to enter the race (it's a fund-raiser for charities). I have no problem with that. However, this year, you couldn't download even low-res photos. PF Chang's contracted the picture-taking out to a company, who then tried to charge you about $5 per image.

Hey PF Chang's! For $75, you ought to at least make low-res versions of the photos available! Ah, but it helps to have friends in high places (or IT departments) who know how to capture these images off the Internet, even when they're protected.

Isaac's Storm

Title : Isaac's Storm (1999, Hardback, 273 pages)

Author : Eric Larson (b. 1954)

Genre : US History

Rating : A-

This Month I Read...
This book came recommended to me by my cousin (Thanks, Janet!), and is subtitled, "A Man, a Time, and the Deadliest Hurricane in History".

The book tells the story of the 1900 Hurricane that ravaged the city of Galveston. This was before the Weather Service started assigning names to hurricanes, so it is only known as the "Great 1900 Hurricane" and several other monikers. To this day, it holds the record for the largest number of deaths in the USA by a storm. 6,000-12,000 people lost their lives.

What's To Like...
Larson weaves several engaging storylines together here. There is the account of the storm itself, of course. But there is also the biography of Isaac Cline, the Weather Bureau's local man in Galveston in 1900 . In addition, Larson gives the technical science involved in the making of a hurricane. Finally, there is a narrative about bureaucratic incompetence and hubris.

Isaac's Storm also offers a pleasant glimpse into life in American at the dawn of the 20th Century. Telephones? Not yet. Automobiles? Nope. Radio? Uh-uh. But you get to see the sights, and smell the smells (even if they are often horse manure) of America in 1900. Having recently had the opportunity to see some of my Grandfather's photos from as early as 1907, Larson's descriptions here were really a treat.

What's Not To Like...
There are no pictures!! Larson recounts using a magnifying glass to look at a number of photos showing the storm's aftermath. Hey, Erik! Next time, put those pics in the book! Sheesh. Even the Wikipedia article on this hurricane, which can be found here, has some photographs.

Larson paints an unflattering picture of Isaac Cline. Apparently, in Galveston today, a lot of people take exception to that.

What Have We Learned in 100 Years?
Galveston got nailed in 1900 because it had a smug feeling that it could handle anything Mother Nature threw at her (they disdained building a seawall several years earlier); because the US Weather Bureau did a crappy job of predicting the storm's path (they thought it was heading up the Atlantic coast), because the bureaucrats in the Weather Service cared more about politicking than about putting out accurate forecasts (they jealously refused to listen to the Cuban forecasters' warnings); and because Science was used for political purposes (years earlier, Cline had written that it was meteorologically impossible for an Atlantic storm to ever hit Galveston).

100+ years later, in light of Hurricane Katrina, what has changed? The levee system in New Orleans was in gross disrepair (it failed in 53 places); the Weather Service (again) predicted the storm would move up the east coast of the US; we had a stooge heading FEMA ("Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job!"); and a large segment of the dittoheaded US population still cannot grasp what the warming of the oceans (and the Gulf of Mexico) is doing to the strength of hurricanes (because, golly gee, Dubnutz, that might make it sound like Al Gore knows what he's talking about!).

But I digress. I enjoyed Isaac's Storm, even though I'm not a big reader of (non-alternate) History. I liked the intermingling of the various storylines (others might not). This is recommended reading for anyone living in Texas, or indeed, anyone living in a hurricane zone. We'll give it an A-, only because this book screams to have some photographs included.

Adieu, Rudy

Rudy "9/11" Ghouliani, the 9/11 hero of September 11th, who once saved 27 helpless firemen in the rubble of Ground Zero, announced he was dropping out of the 9/11 2008 Republican Presidential race today. The one-time odds-on favorite, whose favorite numbers are 9 and 11, managed to steer his campaign into a death-spiral, kinda like a 747 bound for ...well... you know.

So long, Rudy. I hope you got McCain to promise you a cabinet post in exchange for your 9/11 support. Politicos will spend the next few weeks (9-to-11 of them) trying to determine if there was any way you could've run a worse campaign.

But I know what your problem is. It's your attitude. You're the 9/11 spitting image of...

Moonsorrow - V. Havitetty

Artist : Moonsorrow (1995 - present)

Album : Viides Luku Havitetty (2007)

Genre : Metal (take your pick for a sub-genre)

Rating : ***** ** (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Moonsorrow is a Metal band from Finland. They have been tagged at various times as Folk-Metal, Black-Metal, Pagan-Metal, Prog-Metal, Epic-Metal, and Viking-Metal. All the descriptors have equal merit; reinforcing my theory that discussions such as "Is it Black-Metal or Pagan-Metal?" are merely pseudo-Mensan hogwash.

V. Havitetty ("Chapter 5 : Ravaged") is their latest CD, and they have a 2008 release in the works. V.H consists of two tracks only, each about 30 minutes long.

What's To Like...
The studio engineering is complex; with at times as many as 10 tracks being mixed at once. There are some decent riffs and "folksy" metal; and both tracks have a nice continuity to them - slowly building in intensity over the course of a half-hour.

What's Not To Like...
The mixing may be complex, but it's not excellent. The guitar-work should be more prominent. The "prog" changes aren't all that substantial. The guitar riffs are okay, but both tracks cry out for some extended, rip-snortin' guitar solos.

Finally, the screeching vocals are just plain silly. I cringe to think what Moonsorrow sounds like live.

The Spirit of Vinyl is Alive and Well...
For a 2007 release, this sure has an "LP feel" to it. Two tracks at 30 and 26 minutes in length, respectively. Can it be that vinyl still influences the track-length of CD's? LP's are making a comeback. More and more artists are doing limited issues of new music on LP's. And I can attest that the price of used vinyl is on the rise. About all that remains in the $1 bargain bins are Jane Fonda's Workout Double-LP, and Jackie Gleason's Greatest Hits.

But I digress. V.H is a good (albeit not great) effort, and is said to be more Metallic, and less folk-oriented than Moonsorrow's previous albums. If so, I may have to give those a listen. It definitely is a unique direction for this genre (name any other metal album that consists of two half-hour tracks), and one can only hope that Moonsorrow continues to evolve, both musically and in song-composing. Hey, maybe they can even find a decent singer and do away with the screeches.

Success !!

As you can see from the CNN clip above, the (future) plans for California to secede succeeded mahvelously. We hired undocumented workers to do the digging along the Arizona and Nevada borders. And in a pleasant surprise, the state of Oregon volunteered to do the digging along their border with Calif.

The USA claimed that the name 'California' was copyrighted, so we decided to call the newly-formed island nation 'New Austria'. The Austrians will probably claim infringement also, but who cares? They're in no position to invade.

Things are (will be) different here in Arizona. Lake Havasu City needs a new name (no more lake!). And now that I have time-warped back to (what you consider to be) the present, I intend to be one of the founding fathers of the Yuma Yacht Club.

Out of Town

Here's where I'll be for the next three days. I'm actually time-warping there to the future to help with a secessionist movement. I'll be back to this time-space continuum Friday night, with an update on our progress.

RIP - John Stewart

John Stewart 1939-2008

John Stewart, American singer, songwriter and folk guitarist, passed away today from either a stroke or an aneurysm.

His initial fame came as the 1961 replacement for Dave Guard in The Kingston Trio. He stayed with them until the group's (first) disbanding in 1967. He has been a solo act ever since. IMNSHO, he epitomizes the phrase "American Folk Singer" for the time-period from 1960 onward.

The critics loved him; but for the most part, his albums were commercial disappointments. The one exception is Bombs Away Dream Babies (1979), the album cover of which is at the top of this post. He followed this in 1980 with Dream Babies Go Hollywood, which was just as good as BADB, but which inexplicably failed to sell well.

I have 3-4 of his CD's, and about 6-8 of his LP's. His 1987 release, Punch The Big Guy, is fantastic. But that could be said about all his albums. He had a sweet baritone voice and his songwriting is as good as it gets. I am at a loss to say why he toiled in relative obscurity, while lesser talents like John Denver achieved fame and fortune.

Farewell, John. Perhaps you can team up with Dave Guard and Woody Guthrie now, raising the consciousness of heavenly spirits.

Robert Harris - Fatherland

Author : Robert Harris (1957 - )

Title : Fatherland (1992, 377 pages)

Genre : Murder-Mystery (Alternate History)

Rating : B+

This Month I Read...

Robert Harris is a British novelist, with five published books to his credit. The first, and evidently his most famous, is Fatherland.

The plot is fairly standard forMurder-Mystery. A high-ranking political official is slain, and a low-level, disillusioned police detective doggedly strives to solve the crime.

What's To Like...

What makes this book so unique is the underlying Alternate History involved. Fatherland is set in 1964, 20 years after Nazi Germany won World War 2, and on the eve of The Fuehrer's 75th birthday.

England has been turned into a puppet state; and the US appears to be an implacable rival (in this timeline, the US still defeated Japan). The rest of western Europe (with the exception of Switzerland) is part of the greater German Empire., as is Poland and the European portion of Russia. The latter may have lost WW2 in 1943, but it still exists east of the Urals, and is engaged in a never-ending guerilla war there, supported by American arms.

Robert Harris paints a believable picture of life as it would have been in a victorious Nazi world. It is a terrifying combination of George Orwell's 1984; and Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451. The hero, Xavier March, runs into increasing resistance and ill-will from the authorities as he continues an investigation into a murder that nobody in the upper echelons of the Nazi government wants solved.

The plot is good; the ending is somewhat unexpected; and there are no dull spots in the book. What more could you ask for?

What's Not To Like...
Some feel that the characters are stereotyped, and I think that's a valid assertion.

Others find it unbelievable that the "secret" that Xavier March uncovers (that the German government exterminated the Jews), would have stayed covered up for 20+ years. Personally, my read of the "secret" here is that the US knew about the Holocaust, and had a wink-wink relationship with Germany to not reveal this truth.

Oh Brave New World, That Has Such People In It...
Given the immense and lasting popularity of dystopic works like Animal Farm, 1984, Brave New World, Ape And Essence (my personal favorite Aldous Huxley novel), and Fahrenheit 451; why is it that no new best-sellers in this genre have been written? All of those books are from when, the 1940's and maybe early 1950's?

Yes, we have the Alt History genre now. But the works I've read in AH (Stirling, Turtledove, and Flint) are mostly action stories set in another timeline. The Dystopia genre seems to not have any major additions to it in more than half a century. Why? I can't believe that all the good 1984-ish ideas have been used up.

But I digress. Fatherland is a good story, with a superbly intriguing setting. The characters may be stereotypical, but your focus will be on the Alt-Hist, with all of its horrors, and you'll keep turning the pages to gain more insight into that alternate dimension.

RIP - Bobby Fischer

Robert J. "Bobby" Fischer : 1943 - 2008

Bobby Fischer passed away today at the age of 64. Cause of death was said to be kidney failure, and fittingly, it is rumored that he refused to be treated for his illness because he didn't believe in Western medicine.

Fischer's life has the feel of that of a mythological Greek tragi-hero.; something akin to the stories of Sisyphus and Tantalus. The Gods, in their humor, granted him the greatest chess-mind ever; then cursed him by leaving him utterly unable to comprehend anything beyond the 64 squares of the chessboard.

He will be remembered for his total commitment to trying to win chess games; for his unsurpassed performance on the road to winning the world championship in 1972; and for his contributions to theory in the Najdorf Sicilian (for both Black and White),the Ruy Lopez Exchange Variation; and the King's Indian Defense.

Alas, he will also be remembered for his anti-semitism (even though his mother was Jewish); his xenophobia; his paranoia; and his lack of caring about anything and anybody other than himself and chess. Although my taking up the games of chess coincides with his ascendancy, I can't say he was ever my hero or my inspiration.

There is a theory that Fischer was the reincarnation of another American world chess champion & nutcase - Paul Morphy. If so, then like the Tibetians and their Dalai Lama, we Yanks await the next incarnation of this troubled spirit.

Farewell, Bobby Fischer. May your soul find peace and rest after a lifetime of turmoil.

Korpiklaani - Tervaskanto

Artist : Korpiklaani (2003 - present)

Album : Tervaskanto (2007)

Genre : Polka-Metal !!

Rating : ***** ***½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Tervaskanto (Finnish for "Resinous Stump") is the 4th, and latest, studio album from those Finnish Polka-Metal masters, Korpiklaani. This is the second one of their albums I've managed to find. The first, Spirit of the Forest, was reviewed here .

What's To Like...
As with any Korpiklaani album, Tervaskanto starts out with a drinking song, and continues at a rousing, upbeat pace throughout the 11 tracks. If this CD doesn't make you reach for a pint of good, European, dark beer, you're probably a teetotaler.

The musicianship is again superb. The Folk and the Metal portions are blended together perfectly. And did I mention, there is a bunch of Polka-Metal here.

What's Not To Like...
Unlike SOTF, where the lyrics were all in English, most of this one's in Finnish. That's not a big drawback; if they ever did a concert in Phoenix, I'm sure we'd all just grunt along.

There's not a lot of new directions here. Of course, how many "new" sounds can you give to Polka? It's less musically-diverse than SOTF. And it's only 42 minutes long. C'mon guys, unless you also plan to release this on Vinyl, there's no excuse for anything less than an hour's worth of music.

A Yoiking We Will Go...
Korpiklaani seems to put out an album a year. They already have one ready for 2008, "Korven Kuningas", due out in March. The photos at their website have me convinced that as good as their albums are, they are probably even more fun in concert. Alas, it doesn't appear that they'll be doing a North American tour in 2008, so I s'pose I'll just have to talk Liz into vacationing in Helsinki this summer.

But I digress. Tervaskanto is another fine release by the Yoiking Finns of Korpiklaani. We'll give it 8½ stars, and save up our money for their 2008 offering.

Giants 21 - Plowboys 17

As a Redskins fan, I should be neutral when two of our divisional rivals slug it out. I should be. But HALLELUJAHTHE STINKING COWBOYSLOST!!! There. I feel better now.

Xmas Afternoon (a)

The last few pics from Christmas. The main afternoon activity by the bipeds was sitting out on the back porch, discussing literature, music and politics. The main quadruped backyard activity was chewing on treats that Santa brought, and half-heartedly (with one exception) chasing the ball.

Xmas Afternoon (b)

Jynx chased the ball hundreds of times that afternoon. The guest dogs were happy to run along with him, but none of them had any idea as to why they were doing that.

Xmas Afternoon (c)

This is Bailey, one of Michelle's two dogs. The Christmas highlight for him was sitting by the dinner table, and having a whole slice of ham drop on the floor right in front of him. He had it devoured before the "three seconds on the floor" rule could go into effect.

Xmas Afternoon (d)

And here's Echo, Michelle's other dog, perched happily on the couch with Jason and Michelle. He's not really as tall as them; he's sitting on the couch arm.

Xmas Afternoon (e)

Echo was also happy to keep company with Ian.

Xmas Afternoon (f)

Honeybee and Yours Truly, relaxing while watching Kobe Bryant and the Lakers out-hustle our Phoenix Suns. Funny thing, I couldn't find one Christmas photo that didn't have a dog in it.

Arch Oboler - Drop Dead!

Artist : Arch Oboler (1909-1987)

Album : Drop Dead! (1962)

Genre : Spoken Word, Comedic Horror

Rating : ***** ** (out of 10*)

This Week I Converted...
    Arch Oboler was old, even when I was young. He was a writer, producer, and director in the 1930's-60's, working in TV, movies, and radio. He is best-known for his performances on early radio. ANAICT, he only ever put out one LP album - Drop Dead! in 1962. I became acquainted with it in 1969, when a friend at college occasionally played it while we sat around and ...erm... drank and partook.

    It has eight tracks, each a different type of horror story. You have a psychopathic cannibal ("I'm not psychotic, I'm just hungry!!"); a car stuck on the railroad tracks as a train's a-coming; a creeping darkness that turns humans inside-out ("organs hanging"); and a proto-Crichtonesque science-gone-awry tale (a piece of chicken-heart that doubles in size every hour). You won't find Drop Dead! on CD; and you will probably never find it at a Used Record store.

    I was pleasantly surprised to find out my friend still had the vinyl, and I coaxed him into letting me convert it to CD. For a 45-year-old record, it's in excellent condition, which is not surprising, given that its owner is an audiophile. There were no skips or warps; just a bunch of small scratches that are inevitable on any used-LP. I edited most of them out when converting it.

What's To Like...
    DD! is a glimpse into old-time radio. You have a team of people doing the voices; and a whole slew of innovative sound-effects to add to the story. Think of it as a trip to Universal Studios, but in audio format only. The stories are not particularly scary, but there is a subtle humor underpinning the whole album. The sound-effects are amazing. One of the "team" on this album was Bea Benadaret, who shortly after this was to star as the mom on the TV series Petticoat Junction. You say you never heard of that show?! (Heavy sigh, look of nostalgia). Whippersnapper!

What's Not To Like...
    At 37 minutes in length, the whole album is short, even by 1960's LP standards. If you don't have an active imagination, you might find DD! to be a trifle tedious. And as with any spoken album (even when it's hilarious satire, such as Firesign Theatre), it may grow boring after a few listens.

Why should I care about an old fart like Arch Oboler?
    For starters, radio shows are a lost art-form. You can get an aftertaste of it in modern stand-up comedy, particuarly if the comic makes use of sound-effects. But that's a pale shadow of radio shows in their heyday. More importantly, Arch Oboler was one of the first to tweak the noses of the establishment. His plays and films were downright weird. Read, for instance, Wikipedia's recap of his 1956 play, Night Of The Auk.

    Wiki also relates an anecdote about a radio skit that he wrote in 1937 for the Chase & Sanborn Hour. Performed by Don Ameche and Mae West, it was a take-off on the Garden of Eden story, with Ms. West supplying a plethora of double-entendres. The sketch created an uproar, resulting in West being banished from further radio performances, and NBC even blacklisting the mention of her name. Oddly, it wasn't the content of the skit that infuriated the Fundies way back then; it was the fact that C&SH had the audacity to broadcast it on a Sunday afternoon.

    But I digress. Arch Oboler is a forgotten artist, in a forgotten medium. Drop Dead! is great, clean, tame-by-today's-standards fun; good for a listen every so often, especially around Halloween. Long before Lenny Bruce and Norman Lear were breaking out of the stale confines of mainstream comedy and Puritan morality, Oboler was there blazing the path. If you run across it at the used record store, buy it (price is usually around $5). If you don't have a turntable anymore (what's a turntable?), come by my place and we'll share a glass of wine and listen to it on CD.

Harry Turtledove - American Front

Author : Harry Turtledove (1949 - )
Title : The Great War : American Front (562 pages; 1998)
Genre : Alternate History
Rating : C

This Month I Read...
The Great War : American Front is the second book in an 11-volume opus by Harry Turtledove; covering a timeline that initially veered off with the South's winning the Civil War. Book One, How Few Remain, deals with a second conflict in the 1880's, also won by the South, and featuring "alternate lives" for a bunch of famous people such as Samuel Clemens, Teddy Roosevelt, James Longstreet, Frederick Douglass, etc.

TGW:AF picks up the storyline with the outbreak of World War 1. The Confederacy sides with England and France; the USA with Germany. It is the first book of a WWI Alt-Hist trilogy and goes to about the end of the summer, 1915.

What's To Like...
This is "pure" Alt-History. No shifts in the time-space continuum (such as Flint's 1632 series); no visits from extraterrestials to alter History (which technically wouldn't be Alt-Hist anyway).

As usual, Turtledove tells his story from a dozen or so perspectives. Each "glimpse" lasts about 2-5 pages; then he jumps to another person's story. There's a good balance in the people he chooses - Yanks, Southerners, Canadians, men, women, blacks, whites, rich folks, poor folks.

What's Not To Like...
Unlike as in How Few Remain, Turtledove chooses "unknowns" to follow in TGW:AF. That makes it tough to follow. Was Arthur MacGregor a Yank, a Reb or a Canuck? What front and what side was Reggie Bartlett fighting on? Teddy Roosevelt and George Custer carry over from HFR, but are no longer followed in detail. Following these unknowns is not nearly as interesting.

The action is basically a clone of what historically happened in Europe in WW1. You have trench warfare; poisonous gas attacks; the evolution of of air fighting; and there even is the repeat of the "Christmas Truce", something that took place in Europe during the first year of the war (The History Channel has an excellent episode covering that). The trouble is, that ain't Alternate History; it's just transplanting the events from one continent to another. One expects more divergence in an Alt-Hist story.

Finally, there isn't any climax to this book. The story sashays along from page 1 to page 560. In the last couple pages, the blacks of the South are seen to rise up in a coordinated worker-socialist revolution. No details are given; this is an obvious hook to get you to buy the next book. Since this is a trilogy, one can predict that the next book won't have a dramatic climax either.

Robert Jordan Syndrome is alive and well...
This is the first book of a trilogy; but it is also Book Two in an 11-volume opus by Turtledove that starts in 1880 (in the storyline. Book 1, HFR, came out in 1995) and goes for another full century. Book 11, "In At The Death : Settling Accounts" just came out in hardcover last July. Reportedly, it is the end of the saga, but there are enough loose ends left over for Turtledove to pen Book 12 if he wants.

This means you better be prepared to spend a lot of hours reading a lot of pages in a lot of books about this alternate timeline. Well, I did that with Jordan's "Dragon Reborn" series, and he up and died on me before finishing the final book (#12). I don't intend to get sucked into that again; not with Turtledove's North/South narrative; not with Eric Flint's 163x series.

One wonders where this Robert Jordan Syndrome will end. Time was when a trilogy was considered the literary limit. An intriguing beginning; a tedious middle; and a thrilling end. Hey, it worked fine for Tolkien.

Now we have someone ghost-writing Book 12 in Jordan's Wheel Of Time; and Turtledove one novel away from tying that mark. You just know some other author will make it his goal to write a 13-book epic. It's getting to the point where Tolstoy and Dostoevsky will be relegated to the "Short Story" section of your local library. Whoodathunkit?

But I digress. TGW:AW is a decent book, but How Few Remain was better. The characters are not sufficiently engaging to warrant me committing to reading another nine books about them. We'll give it a C rating, cuz it isn't bad, and get our next Alt-Hist fix from one of S.M. Stirling's books.