Let's hear it for chemists

Don't even get me started on this stereotype.

Betty Boob

Texas state representative Betty Brown (Republican, of course) thinks Asians should change their names to make it "easier for Americans to deal with" them. You can read about it here. Betty thinks them Chinese names are just too danged complicated. . Betty, dearie, I know you're a dittohead bigot. But try not to be a cultural clod as well. Here, I'll help you. Chinese names are monosyllabic. That means one syllable, Betty. Like Li Ling Wang. Yeah I know, that's three syllables, which strains your Neanderthal brain. But that's actually three names. You have three names too, Betty. You don't have any trouble with them do you? Omigosh, maybe you do. Perhaps that's why you shortened Elizabeth to Betty. . Anyway, just so there's no hard feelings, Betty, the above Chinese character is for you. Have fun figuring it out. With luck, it might even give you a dose of cultural awareness.

You! Out of the gene pool!

Meet 18-year-old Phillip Alpert. Phil's an idiot. When he recently got into an argument with his 16-year-old GF, he took it kinda hard. So he found the nude photo that the GF (she's also an idiot) sexted him, and sent it to lots of her friends and her family. You can read about it here. Smart, Phil. Real smart.

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GF's family and friends were not amused. Someone tipped off the police, and Idiot Phil got his a$$ busted for child pornography. He pled "no contest" to the charge, and was later surprised that that counted as a conviction. Way to grasp the judicial subtleties, Phil.

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Phil is now a registered sex-offender. And on probation for 5 years. He's bitter that passing around naked pics of an underage girl without her consent is viewed as a crime. Be happy you're not in jail, Phil. With a cellmate named "Animal".

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One last thing. The article says Phil and GF have been dating (CNN's word, not mine) for 2½ years. So GF was what - 13½ or 14 - when they started going out? 8th or 9th grade? Hey, parents of GF! That's freaking way too young to have your daughter going out on dates.

Why stop there?

An Iraqi court today shortened the sentence of Muntadhar el-Zeidi (Mr. Shoe-Thrower) down from three years to one. He is now due to be released in December 2009. You can read about it here. . Personally, he's one of my heroes. Someone who stood up and expressed the true feelings of the Iraqi populace to the occupying bullies. He's already been beaten up a couple times, and has been in jail for 4 months or so. Release this patriot now and give him a medal.

The never-ending college class

Yeah, I've had this dream. Dozens of times. Usually involving some imagined calculus class that I for some reason neglected going to for weeks on end. Or doing the homework. Or studying for the test. . And we won't even talk about waking up time after time on the back pew in a church. In my underwear. Or less. Thank god it's always the back pew. Now if I can just sneak out without anyone seeing me...

I'm picking "addiction"

Actually, I'd choose "passed out drunk at a party" if that was one of the options. And there ought to be a tie-breaker - guess Miley's age when the embarrassing moment occurs. I think she's a couple years away yet - let's go with "17 years and 7 months".

White men can't dance

I don't think we'll be seeing Chuck and Shrub on Dancing With The Stars anytime soon.

And it's time one of them (or maybe both) came out of the closet.

That's three now

Iowa became the third state in the USA to realize that discrimination against same-sex marriages is unconstitutional and denies equal rights to people for no reason other than plain old meanness. You can read the MSNBC article on it here. . I love the state's argument against same-sex marriages : the courts have no business protecting the rights of gays - if a majority of the voters want to promote hate and be nasty to a minority, well by crackee, that oughta be good enough for the courts. Hey California, you're next! And all you idiots who obeyed your hate-filled bishop, pastor, or ranting dittohead and sank millions of dollars into passing Proposition 8 are sure gonna be disappointed when the state Supreme Court throws out your little piece of bigotry there too.

Reminder

The 2009 Phoenix Gay Pride Parade is on Saturday, 18 April, and starts an hour later than usual (IIRC) at 11:00 AM. Once again, it goes up 3rd Street from Thomas to Indian School, where the weekend-long Gay Pride Festival will also be going on. You can get more details on it here. And you can see my pics from the 2008 parade here. . I work with a heap of homophobes, so this is an important event for me. I make it a point each year to invite those homophobes (and others) to the parade.

So true...

Actually, it would be more accurate to title this one "Agnosticism", but you get the idea.

Bimbo Bozos

Meet Crystle Stewart (Miss USA) and Dayana Mendoza (Miss Universe). They're very thrilled. They got to visit Guantanamo. You can read the MSNBC article on it here.

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Dayana wrote on her blog, "It was a loooot of fun!" They got to visit a bar and the beach. They thought the water was beautiful. Oh, they saw some prisoners too.

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"We visited the detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how they recreate themselves (huh?) with movies, classes of art, books."

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Hey, Dayana and Crystle, you stupid twits - it's a freaking torture camp!! What's next on your tour - watching the Jews take showers at Auschwitz?? Get your carefully made-up heads out of your silicone-enhanced boobs and open your eyes! You pathetic political pawns.

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"Oh lookee, Crystle! They're helping one of the detainees work on his tan! Now let's go hit the bar again."

They don't make color film like they used to

And thank goodness for that. This is my grandmother, my cousin, and her three sons - (l to r) Joe, Tim (being held), and Mick. Does that make them cousins-once-removed, second-cousins, or none-of-the-above? . At any rate, the "as is" photo is below. The greens and blues are almost entirely washed out. My Paint Shop Pro effort is above. The colors seem to be balanced, but it looks like the photo could just use more color overall. Okay, all you Photoshop aces - let's see you restore this one to its original quality.

ASU 84 - Texas A&M 69

Congratulations to the 6th-seeded Arizona State Lady Sun Devils who, for the second straight game, knocked off a higher-seeded team in the NCAA tournament. This time it was 2nd-seeded Texas A&M. . ASU advances to the "Elite-8", which is as far as they've ever gone. All this despite their leading scorer, Dymond Simon, being out for the tournament due to a season-ending knee-injury. . Alas, next up is top-seeded and undefeated Connecticut. The Huskies are simply scary-good. Just ask Cal, who played UConn even for the first half today, yet ended up getting blown away bt 24 points when the Huskies woke up.

Cmnmlrrmh

Ah, good old Cmnmlrrmh. You don't really pronounce his name, it's more of an inner humming. I met him in a bar on Strobos Nine. I introduced him to sushi. In return, he taught me the locations of some really useful wormholes into the Tucana Dwarf Galaxy, his homespace. It's a relatively peaceful spot in the cosmos, with almost no colliding stars or supernovae, and only a couple black holes to avoid. The only drawback is that the stars are somewhat crowded together. Still, his home planet, Pktymmphkn-52, is a great place to work on your moons-tan.

Louisville 103 - Arizona 64

PAC-10, meet the Big (Bad) East. And say good-night. Hey U-of-A, I know you lasted one more round than my ASU Sun Devils did, but at least we played respectably against Syracuse. Jeez, the fat lady was singing 5 minutes into this game.

Kansas Education

Poor Kansas. We now have a president who supports Science over Creationism, and Sex Ed over Abstinence. Oh yeah, and that's my kid they're talking about in panel #6. He was quite the innovative lad.

Six Years

Let's see. Maybe my views on Iraq have changed now that Dubnutz is gone. Nope. Why are we still sacrificing lives and limbs in order to illegally occupy a country that we invaded under false pretenses? Bring 'em home. Now.

RIP - Nicholas Hughes

Nicholas Hughes

b. : 17 January 1962

d. : 16 March 2009

. The 47-year old son of Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes hanged himself last week. Nicholas was a fish biologist by trade, was unmarried, and had no children. He had been suffering from severe depression just prior to his death. . There is a good article on how suicide and depression can run in family lines over at CNN. The link is here. It is unclear whether a proclivity towards suicide is genetic or psychological, but the relevant statistic is : "a first-degree relationship - parent, sibling, or child - is four to six times more likely to attempt/complete a suicide." . In an utter act of tastelessness, Wikipedia used his death to initiate a discussion on whether Nicholas's Wiki-entry should be deleted, since he isn't "notable" enough. Hey Wiki, he's the son of two famous poets, and is an integral part of the issue of family suicide. He is worthy of being in your database. . Rest in peace now, Nicholas. The pain has stopped.

On the rebound...

When we last left Melissa Rycroft, she was being picked, then dumped by Mr. "I've Got To Follow My Heart" Jason ("The Bachelor"). . Well, save your tears for poor little Missy - she was immediately and oh-so-conveniently picked up by another reality show, Dancing With The Stars. No matter that she has extensive dancing experience, despite the show's premise that the contestants are to be total rookies when it comes to fox-trotting across the ballroom. You can bet your bottom dollar that the script-writers already have Melissa and her partner, one Tony Dovolani, inked in as the winners of the contest.

Meanwhile, it is rumored that Jason and Molly are being forced into a shotgun wedding - by the producers of The Bachelor, to try and salvage a few of the irate, ex-watchers. One of which is my wife. Look for some quickie and highly-publicized nuptials, followed by a quickie and not-so-publicized annulment.

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The only mystery that remains is why I've devoted not one, but two postings to this farce.

Dog Eat Doug

Any comic series that devotes a strip to Neil Gaiman deserves to be showcased. You can find Dog Eat Doug over at www.gocomics.com. There's a bunch of great strips there that you've never heard of. We'll feature some of them in the near future.

Thought for the Day

Happy Akiti-Sununum !!

That's what my Sumerian persona calls it. Something about "barley-planting" day. . My druid persona calls it the Vernal Equinox. It's that twice-yearly event, when the daylight hours are exactly equal to the darkness hours. Allowing for the "horizon factor" of course - such as living just to the west of a high mountain. . Amazingly, the daytime-equals-nighttime effect is true no matter where on earth you're standing. It took me an embarrassingly long time this morning to visualize why that's so.

Coming soon...

...actually next week in the UK. A quarterly mag put out by Classic Rock Magazine devoted to **Prog**. Heretofore, they only did one issue per year with that theme. . Lucky Brits. We'll have to wait a good 6 weeks for this issue to make it to our shores. :-(

Arrogance. Insolence. Greed.

This is Edward Liddy. He's the CEO of AIG, the financial corporation whose demise is significantly responsible for bringing the US economy to a halt due to making incredibly stupid loans. He and his executive lackeys recently got billions of $$$ from the government (and from you and me, since we're taxpayers). To celebrate this, Eddie is giving his workmate buddies as much as a million dollars each in bonuses. Eddie had to testify before Congress today about those bonuses. You can read about it here. He seems mystified that us commoners are outraged by this, and that Congress would want details about it. But in order to meet us "halfway", he's asked (not ordered) his exec pals to consider returning up to half of their bonuses. For some reason, he thinks we peasants will be mollified if those AIG suits get a mere $500,000. . Hey, Eddie. You witless scumbag. It's not gonna pacify us at all. For now, you might get away with robbing us texpayers blind. But there's a new sheriff in town. Dubnutz is gone. And next year, you're going to find yourself so regulated by this administration that it's going to take congressional order for you to take a sh*t. So enjoy your ill-gotten gains while you can, you jerk. Cuz in 2010 you'll be asking people if they want fries with their quarter-pounder.

Meanwhile, I'm off tonight to get my taxes done. And no, I don't have any half-million dollar bonus as part of my income. So I'm hoping for a refund.

Happy St. Patrick's Day !!

Yeah, I know. It's actually a Christmas motif. But if you squint real hard, and hold your monitor at a 45° angle, Mini-Me sorta looks Irish.

Discworld

A great Worth1000 rendering of my favorite literary universe .

Deathwatch III - Dale Hausner

We haven't done a DeathWatch posting for a while - not since Charles Barkley "forgot" about the $50,000 he owed a Las Vegas casino. . Dale Hausner is a serial killer who terrorized Phoenix back in 2005-06 via random drive-by shootings. Along with one, possibly two accomplices, they murdered 6 people, attacked 19 more, and also shot a number of dogs and horses. This past week, he was convicted and the only suspense now is whether he'll get the death penalty or not. You can read MSNBC's article on it here. . What makes Doofus Dale a candidate for DeathWatch is his arrogance and hyper-developed superiority complex. Immediately after the police caught him red-handed, he called his own press conference to "explain things". His lawyer, who knew nothing of this, was severely displeased, and upon arriving 10 minutes later, gave Doofus a look-that-could-kill, and terminated the show. . Now, Haughty Hausner takes his superiority attitude to prison. Yeah, that's gonna really fly there. At best, he'll get to be some white supremacist's b*tch for the rest of his life. But it is infinitely more likely that everybody will get sick of him in a week, and then it's just a crapshoot to see who offs him first. . I guess what makes him unique is this "I'm smarter than everybody else" mindset. Most serial killers (and I don't claim to be an expert on this) seem to either get some ecstatic high out of killing people, or else have some serious anger managment issues. Hausner just seems to view the rest of humanity as dumb animals - existing for his amusement and suitable only for target practice. . I got news for you, Dale. They're gonna love your skinny white a$$ in prison, but they're gonna hate your mouth. So it really doesn't matter whether you get the Death Sentence or not. You'll be dead before your first parole hearing. But congratulations anyway on making our DeathWatch 2009 list.

Abstruse Goose

Here's a new comic to follow. You can find it over at www.abstrusegoose.com. The XKCD influence is evident, and I'm not sure yet how often a new cartoon is posted. But it has a science/math bent, and that's always a good thing.

Why I'm An Activist

"Gangs of South African men are raping lesbians in the belief it will "cure" the women's sexual orientation, an aid agency said Friday." See MSNBC's story on it here. And don't try to tell me this is because people are so much more ignorant in South Africa. There's a whole bunch of Bible Belt Americans that think the same way. And believe that beating up or killing a gay person is less of a crime than beating up or killing a hetero.

Putting the "fun" back in dysfunctional

It turns out Bristol "baby-maker" Palin and Levi "TPT" Johnston won't be getting hitched after all. Yeah, like I'm real surprised. . Hey, Bristol, here's a tip. Be very, very nice to Levi, and give him lots of money. Otherwise, he's gonna write a tell-all book about you and your dysfunctional family. That could get quite embarrassing around 2012 or so.

Oh, and Grandma Sarah, I just have one question, you sanctimonious twerp. Where are your Family Values now?

And Levi, I'm thinking Playboy Interview.

Divorcing The Bachelor

Liz is part of an immense horde of people who got hooked on the reality show The Bachelor, then got totally p*ssed-off at the show's lame finale, where "I've got to follow my heart" Jason picked Melissa over Molly, then dumped the Mel like a sack of potatoes to go chasing after Mol. . I have never had any urge to watch any of the oxymoronic-named "Reality Shows"; and neither had Liz until this one jumped out and snagged her around the "20 GF's to go" stage. After that, she was a devoted watcher for two hours every Monday night. . I'm completely convinced that all Reality Shows are scripted, except possibly one or two in the very first season, where the audience could vote people off. OTOH, I know for a fact that WWE professional wrestling is entirely real, and that Edge really is married to (the late) Eddie Guerrero's mom.

XKCD fix for the week

Did I mention that The Princess Bride is in my "Top 10 Greatest Movies of All Time" list? It has almost as many memorable lines as Monty Python's In Search Of The Holy Grail.

I'm a twit...

... cuz I'm on Twitter. And frankly, I don't see what all the hooha is about.

If only it was this easy...

Although I did recently mate someone in a tournament game, in only eight moves. With a queen sacrifice, and a lone bishop delivering the coup de grace.

Sexting

This is Jesse Logan. The late Jesse Logan. Who last year opted to take nude pictures of herself with her cell phone and send them to her boyfriend. Which is called "sexting". When they broke up, the scumbag BF decided to forward those pics to a bunch of classmates. Who in turn had more than a few snide remarks to make to Jesse. . In July of 2008, Jesse hung herself. Her mom, Cynthia, is understandably distraught. And wants to sue the High School for not stopping the students from badgering her daughter, literally to death. You can read MSNBC's report on it here. Why they waited until this week to run the story 7 months after Jesse's death is beyond me. . Okay, Jesse's death is a tragedy. Kids were cruel and nasty when I was in high school; I'm sure they're much crueler and nastier nowadays. The loss of a life with so much potential cannot be understated. However... . Jesse's mom uses these words to describe her daughter : "vivacious", "fun"; "artistic"; "compassionate"; "a good kid". Well, I'm sure that's the personality she presented to you, Mom. But the fact that she sends nude pics of herself to her BF tells me she has another side that's anything but shy, sweet, and innocent. And a good portion of the blame and responsibility is yours for being totally clueless about your daughter's activities and character. There's not a lot the high school can do when your own daughter is the initiator of the pics. . Mumsy also has the lawyers looking into the possibility of filing child pornography charges, since Jesse was under-18 when she sexted those pics. Ironically, the criminality belongs first-and-foremost to the photo-taker, Jesse. Of course, she's dead so obviously they won't be serving her a warrant. One wonders if Mom would be so anxious to pursue this route if Jesse was still alive. . Bottom line - while the ex-BF is a total douche, and I hope the high school classmates suffer a lifetime of guilt for what they did; if there is any criminal negligence here, it falls on the head of the Mom, not the school. And Cynthia, if you really want to prevent this from happening again, I'd focus on the unbelievably stupid, self-destructive practice of sexting, not on the meanness of your daughter's classmates.

Friday Night Art Appreciation

And I'm way overdue on posting something Daliesque.

Back in town...

...after two days in Fresno. Or more exactly, Clovis. Nice town, nice weather, successful business, a great steak, and a ringside seat to a bunch of Asians getting into a fight at the restaurant, followed by being thrown out on their a$$es. Still, it'll be nice to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Zits

Attaboy, Pierce! I think NAACP stands for Naturally Accepting Attitude of Colorful People.

Proposition 8 going to the courts

As expected, California's hate-fueled, anti-gay Proposition 8 is heading for a court hearing. MSNBC's article about it is here. I love the logic of the anti-gay forces : "But it's the will of the people." . Hey, you self-righteous hypocrites! Just because you throw a ton of money at an initiative, and snow a bunch of voters about it, doesn't make it right and doesn't make it constitutional. . Proposition 8 denies a protected minority group of their civil rights. There's no way around that fact. So take your prejudice, go back to your temples and churches, cry about it to Rush, and send your fellow dittoheads tons of hate-filled e-mail. Heck, blame Hillary if you want. . But most of all - just go away. And try not to leave a trail of slime behind you.

RIP - Paul Harvey

Paul Harvey

b. : 04 September 1918

d. : 28 February 2009

. If ever there was a voice made for radio, it was Paul Harvey's. I used to love to listen to his five-minute news recaps as a kid; and enjoyed his "Rest of The Story" tales in the 70's and 80's. . Harvey's politics were definitely right-wing, but he wasn't a idiotic dittohead like Limbaugh and Hannity. I do remember listening to him during the Nixon Watergate era, and he wasn't shy about his disgust for Tricky Dicky and the antics of the Reublican party. . In short, he was a true Conservative - much closer to Barry Goldwater and William F. Buckley than chicken-hawks like Reagan and Dubnutz. I didn't agree with Harvey's political views, but I did respect the man. Sadly, we've reached the point where the following sign-off will no longer be heard... . Paul Harvey...........GOOD DAY!!