Many years ago, my company started a wellness incentive program, where they'd give you $100 if you quit smoking cigarettes for at least 30 days.
I went in and claimed my reward, but they rejected me, pointing out that I didn't smoke cigarettes in the first place. I countered by offering to smoke a single cigarette, preferably without inhaling. Then "quit", never to touch tobacco again. They STILL rejected my claim.
This comic strip reminds me of that episode.
