Relic

Title : Relic (1995, 474 pages)

Authors : Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child

Genre : Thriller; Cri-Fi

Rating : B

This Week I Read...
Something is slashing and gnashing people at the New York Museum of Natural History, and eating their brains. Is it human, animal, vegetable, monstrous, demonic, or alien? Whatever it is, Margo Green better find out quick cuz the museum wants to open a new exhibition in 4 days, and they aren't about to let a few grisly slayings get in their way.

What's To Like...
This is a page-turner. It starts off fast; there are no slow spots; and you can finish it in a couple of days. There are a few twists to keep you on your toes.

The heroes aren't Mary Sues. (not sure what a Mary Sue is? See here). Indeed, the mayor of New York gets cast in a favorable light. When's the last time a politician got that treatment in a novel?

And the book actually comes to a conclusion! You don't have to read 10 sequels for everything to wrap up. Take that, Robert Jordan.

What's Not To Like...
Despite the twists, the story is somewhat predictable. The bad guys get chomped; the good guys live. The ending, although climactic, is also a let-down. Brain-Chomper gets his just desserts, but you don't get many details about his ultimate demise, and the Feds apparently snatch up the body before the authors can give you much of a description of the corpse.

Finally, you have to believe that life, and new exhibits, go on as always, despite employees and visitors getting mutilated and disembrained.

Oh Cri-Fi! Thy name is Crichton!
The teaser on the cover says it all : "Alien meets Jurassic Park". But as Cri-Fi, Relic just doesn't quite measure up to JP. Oh, there are some computer-generated read-outs, but one doesn't get the feeling that the authors made a lot of technical effort to make this scientifically believable. (*)

Still, it is a decent book, so we'll give it a B, and see if we can find it's sequel, Reliquary, at the used-bookstore.

(*) : There's one glaring loose end to this story. A plane carrying most of the Amazonian expedition crashes early in the timeline, giving rise to the theory that a "Curse" is involved. But it becomes evident later on that Brain-Chomper wasn't on that plane. So why did it crash? Inquiring nit-pickers want to know.

Prickly City (28 May)

Prickly City is a local cartoon strip. It is political enough to where it appears on the Editorial Page, not on the Comics page. It definitely is a cut below strips like Doonesbury, but it has its moments. What makes it unique is that it seems to take as many jabs at the Republicans as it does at the Democrats. Needless to say, I find the former more far amusing than the latter.

We are the champions!!

Congratulations to the Arizona State University Women's Softball team, which sailed through the NCAA tournament undefeated, then trounced Texas A&M 3-0 and 11-0 in the best-of-three finals. The whole batting order was strong, but there's no doubt that the key was our pitcher, Katie Burkhart. Alas, she's a senior, so there is some rebuilding to do. This was the first-ever champtionship for ASU in softball. And oh yeah, 11-0 is the largest margin-of-victory ever in the championship game.

Poochie

This is Poochie, our latest foster-dog. Actually, he's a stray that Liz has brought home, and he bears an uncanny resemblance to Red, the last dog she came home with. You can read about Red here.

He's been with us since Wednesday night. Liz put up signs in the area where she found him, but so far no one's called. One wonders if he was dumped.

He's house-trained, loves walks and rides, and has a gentle disposition. Liz thinks he's part boxer; I think he's part pit bull. Maybe we're both right. Liz is going out today to put up more signs, this time with his pic. If we don't get any responses during the weekend, then Monday the deal changes to "Free to a good home".

WWFSMD?

As promised, a bit more detail concerning the Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. It's been around for less than 5 years. You can visit their website at http://www.venganza.org/ for a lot more zany details. Wikipedia has a good write-up on them too.

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While the emphasis at the CotFSM is on satire, they do serve a serious purpose. To quote their founder, Bobby Henderson, "I don't have a problem with religion. What I have a problem with is religion posing as science."

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So when the Intelligent Design clods (the morons formerly known as the Creationists) tried to force science teachers in Kansas to teach their pseudo-science alongside the legitimate stuff, the CotFSM jumped in and demanded that their dogma also be taught. Their persistence paid off - eventually the IDc's backed off.

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Folks, Intelligent Design is not a science. You can call it a philosophy; you can call it dogma; you can call it a religious belief. I'm cool to all that. But when you try to pass it off as "science", as a chemist I am offended. If we left the Church run Science, we'd still be learning that the Sun revolves around the earth, and that Dinosaurs either didn't exist (cuz they aren't in the Bible), or that Adam and Eve used to walk around with them (ouch! just try putting a leash on a Tyranosaurus Rex!).

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In our next installlment, we'll present some of the FSM's "science". And a little later, I'll get around to the reason I'm featuring them.

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Oh yeah, if you can't figure out "WWFSMD?", you definitely need to practice your acronyms more.

How come no one told me...

... that the USA lifted its long-standing ban of Absinthe sometime in 2007?

Nine Inch Nails - The Slip

Artist : Nine Inch Nails (1988 - present)

Title : The Slip (2008)

Genre : Industrial Rock

Rating : ***** **½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Trent Reznor celebrates NIN's freedom from a record company telling them what to sound like by releasing not one, but two free-to-download CD's in 2008. The first one, Ghosts I-IV, is a study in minimalism. OTOH, The Slip is a legitimate full-length CD (10 tracks; almost 44 minutes) that you can legally snag with Reznor's blessing at (where else?) http://www.nin.com/ .

What's To Like...
I have to start by saying that this is the first NIN album that I have ever listened to in depth. So I won't be comparing it to any of their earlier stuff.

The arrangements are excellent. I presume I have Reznor to thank for that. The lyrics are adequate, and you can understand what he's saying. (Methinks I've been listening to too much Doom Metal lately). The instrumental portions are really quite good.

And did I mention this - it's free!

What's Not To Like...
Okay, enough of the guitar reverb already. Who do you think you are, Jimi Hendrix? Reznor also has this annoying habit of taking a couple bars of perfectly good music, and repeating them ad nauseum. The spirit of Erik Satie must be possessing his soul.

Last, and least, this disk seems to freak out my truck's CD player. Normally it is constantly spitting out the Track Number, and how many seconds have played on any individual track. But with The Slip, all it does is keep repeating "Unknown Artist - Unknown Album" over and over again. Weird.

The Din of NIN...
I suspect that NIN is, like red wine, Polka-Metal, and Salvador Dali, an acquired taste. Lots of people have given their opinions of The Slip at RateYourMusic; there doesn't seem to be any consensus. Some, like me, think that Tracks 6-10 are better than Tracks 1-5. Others think that Reznor hasn't done anything good since the mid-90's I do find it amazing that the overall rating for Ghosts I-IV is higher than The Slip at RYM (3.53 vs. 3.35).

Personally, I found myself liking this album a lot more than I anticipated. I was expecting thrashing, gnashing, and bashing; instead I got ten catchy, carefully-constructed songs. We'll give it 7½ stars, and bump that up to eight if they cut back a bit on the distorted guitar. And maybe-just-maybe allow ourselves to be talked into going to see them in concert the next time they pass thru Phoenix.

Viva La Pasta!

I'm sure Che would've approved of this one.

RIP - Robert Asprin ("Myth-Taken")

Robert Asprin, Author

b. 06 June 1946

d. 22 May 2008

Robert Asprin is an author best known for his "Myth" series of humorous adventure stories, featuring a sorceror's apprentice (Skeeve); a cynical magician (Aahz), a seemingly-silly dragon (Gleep), two "Mario Brothers" type Mafia hoods (Guido and Nunzio), and a host of other maladjusted figures.

He was also an enthusiast in the Society for Creative Anachronism, {"SCA"}; his personna being named Yang the Nauseating. The Myth Series, besides recounting the zany antics of Aahz and Skeeve, is also rife with knee-slapping puns. Indeed, each book's title is a "Myth-play" on words : "Hit or Myth", "Another Fine Myth", "M.Y.T.H. Inc. Link", "Class Dis-Mythed" etc. And each chapter begins with a witty, contrived quote. Example : "Maybe I should have kept my nose out of it." - C. de Bergerac

The first couple tales have a lot of dimension-travel in them, an art that by now you know I engage in as well. However, Asprin's dimensions (ANAICT) are entirely fictitious. At least, I've never been on any that he describes. Nevertheless, a significant portion of the series' charm was seeing what pleasantly-dysfunctional world Asprin would come up with next.

Sadly, the series eventually staled. The puns got scarcer, so did new dimensions, and the storyline downshifted into first gear by following Skeeve's attempts to run a sorcery business. Boring.

Eventually also, Asprin ran afoul of the IRS, with whom he shrewdly finagled a deal wherein the Feds would receive a portion of the proceeds (for back taxes) from any and all future books written solely by him. So what did he do? For the last 10 years or so, all his books have been "co-authored" with various people. The IRS never got a penny. You gotta love his ingenuity!

The last Asprin-penned book that I read was called "Myth Alliances" (2003), and co-authored with someone named Jody Lynn Nye. It was okay, but still not up to the level of the first 4 or 5 books.

If you've read all the Piers Anthony books, and are looking for more, then the Myth series will fit the bill. You won't find true enlightenment here, but you will find yourself chuckling, and laughter is good for the soul.

In remembrance...

This Memorial Day is for all those who served their country without question, and paid the price with their lives, limbs, and sanity. Now it's time to bring the rest home from a meaningless war fueled only by Republican political aims.

Just a thought...

How 'bout a Barack Obama - Chuck Hagel ticket?

RIP - Dottie Rambo

Joyce "Dottie" Rambo

b. May 02, 1934

d. May 11, 2008

The fundamentalist gospel singer, Dottie Rambo, died while on the way to do a Mother's Day show. The bus she was in skidded off the road, smashed into a guardrail, and then crashed into an embankment. Of the eight people in the bus, all of whom sustained injuries, Dottie was the only one killed. Ouch.

Along with her husband, Buck, and eventually their daughter, Reba, the family for decades was a mainstay among gospel singing groups. Their heyday was probably 1968-1981. They performed under various names, including "The Singing Rambos", "The Rambos", and "The Swinging Rambos".

Buck must've taken that latter name just a bit too literally; because, to quote Wikipedia, "In April of 1994, Dottie and Buck divorced. Within a short time, Buck married Rambo's secretary." Ouch again. The flesh was willing, and the spirit was weak.

For fundies, finding "acceptable" music LP's for your kids to listen to was always quite the challenge. Rock & Roll was a no-no, cuz it promoted sex and drugs. Country & Western was a no-no cuz it promoted sex and booze. Show Tunes like Mary Poppins were a no-no cuz they promoted Black Umbrella Sorcery. And Handel's Messiah just sounds crappy when played by the little old lady on the church's out-of-tune piano. So, along with the Happy Goodmans and the Bill Gaither Trio, the Rambos became a big fish in a very small evangelicalistic-music pond.

If you haven't heard of the Rambos, you aren't alone. RateYour Music, normally encyclopedic when it comes to albums, barely has anything listed by them. Via Liz however, we have five Rambos LP's in our vinyl collection.

It is not common knowledge, but Buck and Dottie also had a reprobate son, John James. He had a body distorted by excessive steroid use, was an ex-green beret and had anger-management issues. He went postal a number of times, first wiping out a town called Hope, Washington (along with most of the Washington National Guard). Subsequently, he massacred half the evil commies in Vietnam (leaving the other half for Chuck Norris); then obliterated the combined Russian and Afghani forces around Kabul; and finished up by killing all the pirates in Southeast Asia, along with most of the Burmese army.

But I digress. Rest in peace, Dottie Rambo. Yours was not an easy life. Hopefully, you've found comfort now.

Rex

Some have questioned the existence of one of my multiple personalities. No, not the time-traveller; that they accept. It's the sheepdog in Wyoming that evokes skepticism.


So here's a picture for all you Doubting Thomases. My name in this incarnation is Rex, and obviously I'm not always herding sheep. I have a lot of extraordinary talents, one of which is contributing to this blog. Which is a lot more rewarding than dealing with ovine quadrupeds and wool-gathering bipeds. Arf, arf.

Touched by His Noodly Appendage

A.k.a. "The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"; a.k.a, "The Pastafarians". We'll be featuring them a couple times over the next few weeks. You can research them at www.venganza.org They are also in Wikipedia.

Deathwatch 2008 - Charles Barkley

Ex-NBA all-star Charles Barkley is back in the news. It turns out he owes $400,000 to a Las Vegas strip casino - the result of two disastrous days of gambling last fall. October 18 & 19, to be exact.

You can read more about it here. Faced with criminal charges, and after allegedly ignoring repeated attempts by the casino to contact him, Sir Charles had this to say : "My mistake. I'm not broke, and I'm going to take care of it."

Ummm, let me explain something to you, Chuckie. Las Vegas casinos are owned by a corporation called The Mafia. They have a very effective "Debt Collections Department". They aren't gonna write off that $400,000.

At best, they'll plunk both your kneecaps with bullets and let you wheelchair around until you get them their money. At worst, the next water-hazard on a golf course you find yourself in ...well... you'll be staring at it from the bottom up.

Pay up quickly, Chuckster. We'll pull you off the Deathwatch List when you do. Otherwise it's 50:50 whether you park in handicap spaces for the rest of your life or feed the fishes.

Rebate Blues

Nice going, Dubnutz. Your spendaholic ways have given us a record deficit, so now you go and borrow more money from China to give us a meaningless tax rebate. Was it really just 8 years ago that we actually had a surplus in our budget, thanks to old tax-and-spend Clinton?

Mr. Brooks

Title : Mr. Brooks (2007; 121 minutes)

Genre : Suspense

Rating : **½ (out of 5*)

This Weekend I Watched...
A well-respected businessman by day, Mr. Brooks (Kevin Costner) is addicted to mudering by night. Demi Moore plays a detective trying to solve the spree; Dane Cook plays a photographer who wants to learn serial-killing from the master; William Hurt plays Mr. Brooks' inner voice.

What's To Like...
The plot is novel, and there are lots of twists along the way. There's plenty of action and suspense, mostly due to four (count 'em, four!) serial-killers (both actual and wannabees) traipsing around. The interaction between Costner and Hurt is quite good.

What's Not To Like...
For the most part, the acting sucks. Demi Moore never could act; and who the heck is Dane Cook? A comedian, I am told. Sorry, Dane. Stick to stand-up.

However, it's the script that really stinks up the place. Mr. Brooks battles his inner demon. Okay. But then he offs Demi's soon-to-be-ex, and she becomes a suspect. Does this ever get resolved? No. Meanwhile, there's a murder where the daughter goes to college, and she's a suspect. Does this ever get resolved? Nope. And Demi wanders around trying to solve Mr. Brooks' slayings. I'll let you guess whether this ever gets resolved.

Help! My Cheerios have been shot by a Cereal Killer...
I get the feeling one wasn't supposed to take this movie too seriously. I mean, Demi Moore and Dane Cook?? Come on. Why not throw in Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman too? Heck, Benji and Mr. Ed could have been worked into the script somehere, and they would've held their own in the acting category.

Nevertheless, the movie was entertaining, as long as you focused on the psychiatry, and not on the whodunit. It's probably only worth two stars, but we'll tack on an extra half-star for a bit of gratuitous T&A and some clever, scene-stealing wit by William Hurt.

Portnoy's Complaint

Author : Philip Roth (b. 1933)

Title : Portnoy's Complaint (1969, 309 pages)

Genre : Fiction, Comedy

Rating : C

This Month I Read...
Philip Roth's best-known work caused a sensation when it came out in 1969, for its shock value, sexually-taboo subjects, and Jewish humor. The book is essentially a 300-page monologue by the book's protagonist, Alexander Portnoy, to his shrink, one Dr. Spielvogel. Alex recounts his life, in more-or-less chronological order, focusing extensively on his four favorite sex partners - "The Monkey", "The Pilgrim", "The Lieutenant" (attempted only), and his hand. We won't mention the liver, the cored apple, the bottle, and his sister's bra.

What's To Like...
If you like the Mel Brooks style of humor, you'll enjoy PC. One-line zingers abound, such as, "The perfect couple : she puts the id back in Yid; I put the oy back in goy."

The book was banned in Australia when it came out, which naturally stimulated sales Down Under. It is self-deprecating, and obviously semi-autobiographical; so you'll have fun trying to figure out how much of this was drawn from Roth's life. You'll meet his domineering mother, his Willy Loman-esque father, and his plain-and-patient sister. You laugh as Alex tries to cope with his Jewish heritage and survive in a goy world.

What's Not To Like...
It's a monologue. A very lonnnnnggggg monologue. Try imagining having to listen to a Mel Brooksian rant for, say, 12 hours straight. It may be funny at first, but it grates on one's nerves before very long.

There's no plot. There's little progression, other than Alex grows older. And if you're looking for Alex to impart to you some grains of experiential enlightenment, forgetaboutit!

So. Now vee may perhaps to begin, Yes?
I think the book's chief value lies in its ground-breaking impact when it came out. Up till then, American literature was pretty tame. And boring. No cuss words, nothing to offend the WASP and the Jewish communities, and above all, nothing about S-E-X. Portnoy's Complaint burst through all that phony Puritanical bullsh*t, and made people laugh while doing so. And the rabbis and Jewish leaders couldn't call it anti-Semitic, cuz Philip Roth is Jewish.

Nevertheless, the book didn't age well. The shock-threshold has long been exceeded, and without that, the limitations of a chapterless, 300-page monologue are exposed. As you tire of the same themes and the same humor, you'll find it difficult to keep reading the book. I did complete it, and I'm happy about that, but it'll be a long time before I read another Philip Roth book.

Unbearable Cuteness for the Week

I don't know who that big white dog might be, but the pit bull is a dead ringer for Preacher, and that could easily be Huxley in the foreground - he isn't afraid to stand up to Preacher.

Paradise Lost - In Requiem

Artist : Paradise Lost (1987 - present)

Album Title : In Requiem (2007)

Genre : Doom Metal

Rating : ***** *** (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
We saw these guys when they opened for Nightwish here in Phoenix last November. PL turned out to be a talented metal band (is that an oxymoron?). They were also a good fit with Nightwish, so I went out and found In Requiem; their 11th , and latest, release.

Paradise Lost has been around since the late 80's, and is considered to be one of the bands that pioneered the genre Doom/Death/Goth Metal. Their albums often explore new territory - they incorporate symphonic elements into their songs and, over the last few years, they've been fusing Synth with Metal, which is said to sound a lot like "Depeche Mode Metal". Now there's an interesting concept.

What's To Like...
Hey, these guys are good! They sing (as opposed to grunt or growl); and you can even understand the lyrics. There are a whole bunch of bitchin' guitar soloes, and just enough symphonic tinges to keep us Nightwish fans oohing and aahing.

What's Not To Like...
Not much. The themes are the same old Metal ones - gloom and doom; sadness and badness. No tiptoeing through the tulips here. Still, I guess that's inherent in Metal, and those themes, although banal, are well done here.

YouTube Links.
You can hear the title cut, Requiem, here., although there's no video with it. PL made a video out of the third track, The Enemy, which you can see here. If you like these two tracks, you'll like the whole album. YouTube has a whole bunch of live videos of PL.

Metal Tolerance Quotient (MTQ).
In Requiem is said to be a return by Paradise Lost to their more metallic roots. I do not claim to be a MetalHead - most of my Metal has to be hybridized - Folk-Metal, Symphonic-Metal, Polka-Metal, etc. So hearing them live butted up against my MTQ.

Still, the more I listened to In Requiem, the more I grew to like Paradise Lost. Which makes me wonder - does one's MTQ change over time? Is listening to Metal kinda like drinking red wine - an acquired taste? Would I have hated this album five years ago? Does this mean that sometime in the far-distant future, I might actually like to listen to groups like Black Sabbath, Cradle of Filth, and Cannibal Corpse, without bemoaning thir utter lack of musical talent? Oog. Let's hope not.

But I digress. From a technical sense, In Requiem is an excellent album. The songs are well-constructed, all the musicians are great, and although you won't confuse the lead singer with Pavarotti, IR is objectively worthy of at least eight stars. How much you personally enjoy this album will be a function of your MTQ. So pour yourself a glass of red wine, and settle back and enjoy the YouTube links given above.

RIP - Albert Hofmann

Albert Hofmann

born : 11 January 1906

died : 29 April 2008

Albert Hofmann passed away earlier this week at the tender young age of 102. He was a chemist, which we all know is the coolest profession in the world. We pay homage to him for the highlight of his illustrious career - being the first to invent (synthesize, actually) LSD-25.

He first made it in 1938, and in typical stoner fashion, promptly forgot about it for 5 years. On 16 April 1943, he unwittingly became his own guinea pig when he accidentally got a small amount on his finger, and it absorbed through his skin into his bloodstream. Three days after this first acid trip, he did another first - the first acid overdose, when he misjudged the dosage of his initial deliberate trip.

Throughout his life, Albert stood by his conviction that LSD was a legitimate psychoanalytical tool, taking lots of trips as part of his research. Yeah right, dude. Like I'm buying that story.

LSD was outlawed in the USA in 1966, which of course promptly led to thousands of flower-children trying it. Gotta find out why the feds don't want us to take this stuff, man.

Farewell Albert Hofmann! You have achieved deified status in the great realm of Hippiedom, right up there with such luminaries as Timothy Leary, Maynard G. Krebs, Jeff Spicoli, and San Mescalito. We salute your contribution to ...um... science.

Word for the day : w00t

Properly spelled double-yew zero zero tee. We forget sometimes that a language is a dynamic entity.

Deathwatch 2008 - Fernando Lugo

Fernando Lugo (center-right in the photo) is the newly-elected President of Paraguay. He brings hope to an impoverished nation. For the last 61 years, one party (the Colorado Party) has ruled Paraguay; about 2/3 of that time as a repressive right-wing dictatorship under a guy named General Alfredo Stroessner.

Lugo got 41% of the vote. The candidate from the Colorado Party got 31%, and a former Army chief got 22%.

Fernando Lugo's politics are center-left. He's a former Roman Catholic bishop who stepped down from that post so he could run for president. His supporters are the Indians, peasant farmers, and trade unions. He is not a big fan of Cesar Chavez.

The now-unseated Colorado Party has the support the Army, the rich, and every power-broker who's enjoyed 60+ years of corruption.

Lugo is scheduled to officially take office on 15 August. We're laying even money that "the powers that be" don't even allow him to get that far. If he does get sworn in, then we're betting there'll be a coup within a year, and the only question is whether they'll send him into exile or "Allende" him.

Congratulations on making our 2008 Deathwatch List, Fernando Lugo. Best of health and best of luck. You'll need both.

Lisa Jackson - Absolute Fear

Title : Absolute Fear (2007; 494 pages)

Author : Lisa Jackson (b. 1952)

Genre : Murder-Thriller

Rating : C

This Month I Read...
A serial killer roams Louisiana, killing men, women, and a few old nuns in ritualistic fashion. Eve Renner gets stalked and shot, and has to deal with the possibility that her jealous beau could be the shooter/stalker.

What's To Like...
The story starts out fast, and continues for 500 pages that way. There's lots of mysterious clues to reason out, and someone gets offed every hundred pages or so to keep you from getting too relaxed. I guarantee you won't figure out who's the Ultimate Evil until the end.

What's Not To Like...
The heroine obviously has a death-wish. There's a psychopathic killer stalking her, and she just can't think of enough reasons to go off to places by herself.

Everyone is amazingly dense here. The killer tattoos 3-digit numbers onto his victims, and no one can figure out what they mean. Hey, it took me two pages to deduce that one.

Finally, there's a slew of unresolved loose-ends left lying about at the end, and one doesn't get the feeling they're there in order to carry over into the sequel. For instance, once our intrepid heroes figure out what the 3-digit numbers stand for, you're still left with a giant "so what?". Are these clever MacGuffins, or just sloppy writing?

And if you don't know what a McGuffin is, click here.

Wait! It's not Murder-Thriller! It's...
Think about where you found this book. Were there Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele books on either side? Maybe that should be telling you something.

Yes, folks. There may be blood, gore, moral outrage, death, and nunocide in this book, but at its core - it's Chick Fic. True love oozes from page to page, and threatens to overshadow the murder-mystery. I guess that's okay if you happen to be a chick, but male readers are hereby forewarned.

To sum up, Absolute Fear is overall an average novel. The unforeseen twists and action-packed chapters are offset by the IQ-challenged characters and the loose ends and MacGuffins. We'll give it a C, keeping in mind that if you like Romantic Thrillers, you might rate this a lot higher.

RIP - John Wheeler

John Archibald Wheeler

born : 09 July 1911

died : 13 April 2008

Okay, I can hear you saying, "Who??" John Wheeler was an important American physicist. "Big deal," you say.

Well, what makes the man memorable is that he popularized the terms black hole and wormhole. Up until him, the concept of a black hole was referred to as a "gravitationally completely collapsed star". Yeah. Try saying that three times fast. When inebriated.

As a time-dimension traveller, I have to admit I've used wormholes once or twice. It is not my preferred mode of transport - the flukey things are always changing termini, and dumping you out into an unknown galaxy.

Black holes are worse. Yes, you can go into them, no problem. And you can also exit them, provided you are acquainted with dimension-travel. But trying to exit them as the same entity as when you went in is a real trick. I once ducked into a black hole in Rigel 9 to take a short-cut to the Yth'hinian Universe, and emerged as a 5-dimensional glob of ectoplasm. Talk about being embarrassed! But that's a story for another time.

Anyway, so long John Wheeler. And thanks for all the fish.

(Happy) 420 Louis !!

If you're older than 25, you're probably unaware that April 20th is a holiday. You can read the MSNBC article on it here, or read the Wikipedia entry here.

2008 Phoenix Pride Parade

The pics are up. You can access them by using the link here, or by going to http://www.2008phxpride.blogspot.com/ or by clicking on "View My Complete Profile" (in the left-hand column) and scrolling down to the bottom.

Billboard Sign for the Week

A quick, but apropos post. I've been going to the gym 3x a week to try to avoid becoming the next poster-child for this billboard. Alas, that cuts into blogging time.

Hairy Back Contest (a)

I've been reminded that I'd promised to post some pics of the "Hairy Back Contest" from when we went to the hockey game. So here we go. Three shirtless "contestants" got to go out on the ice during the first intermission. You'd think we, the crowd, would simply clap for our favorite Hairy Back, but oh no...

Hairy Back Contest (b)

First, each contestant's lady friend got to lather his back with shaving cream.

Hairy Back Contest (c)

Okay, they're all fully lathered - from neck to waist; from love handle to love handle.

Hairy Back Contest (d)

Step Two - the girlfriends now get to toss handfuls of cheese curls at the contestant's backs. One whole bagful per entrant.

Hairy Back Contest (e)

Step Three - the cheerleaders get to count the number of cheese curls on each hairy back. Well, they just kinda sorta guessed at the numbers.

Hairy Back Contest (f)

And here's your winner!! With (an estimated) 85 cheese curls sticking to his shaving cream. What any of this has to do with having a hairy back escapes me, but is was good, cheap fun at your local minor-league hockey game.

Strawbs - Blue Angel

Artist : Strawbs (1964 - present)

Album Title : Blue Angel (2003)

Genre : Prog Rock

Rating : ***** ****½ (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
The Strawb's heyday was the first half of the 70's, so Blue Angel is 30 years past their prime. It was their first new material in 12 years, and almost all the main Strawbs musicians form the past (with the exception of Rick Wakeman) are present on at least a couple of the tracks. Needless to say, Dave Cousins, the mainstay of this group throughout its history, is the lead-singer and guitar-player here.

What's To Like...
This album hearkens back to the finest days of the Strawbs. The eponymous title track is an 11-minute triptych that will remind you of Ghosts from their 1975 album. The rest of the album is more akin to Deep Cuts (1976) and Burning For You (1977). There is no filler here; the whole album is replete with varied styles and sounds, expert musicianship, dynamic lyrics, and fantastic guitar licks.

For the first time since Sandy Denny sang with them in the 60's, there is a female vocal presence. Welsh-born Mary Hopkin (she of "Those were the days, my friend; we thought they'd never end...") sings accompaniment on about half of the first dozen tracks; and Maddy Prior joins in the chorus on the final cut, "The King". Awesome!

What's Not To Like...
Nothing really. 3 or 4 songs from earlier Strawbs' and Dave Cousins' solo albums are re-worked here; that apparently miffs some folks. Other than that, the worst I can say is that I don't think the Strawbs tour at all anymore. Cousins does some acoustic concerts, but on those rare occasions when he comes to the USA, he seems to confine himself to the Northeast. The odds of me seeing him/them in Arizona are pretty remote.

YouTube Links...
I haven't found any of the tracks from the Blue Angel album available at You Tube, but there are a couple videos featuring their better-known songs. One is "New World" which you can watch here. "Part of the Union" is undoubtedly their biggest hit (in th UK only), and you can hear it here. And "Lay Down", another signature piece, can be heard here. Finally, although it's a non-Strawbs video, you can listen to "Round & Round" here.

Treat Me Kindly, Dear Blue Angel
Deepest Colour of the Night
Be Merciful, Be Gentle
For I Have No Strength to Fight...
I became a Strawbs fan the day in 1972 when I walked into the local record store and found Grave New World, an album with a cool cover, and whose title was a take-off of a book by my favorite author, Aldous Huxley.

The album was quite progressive, quite metaphysical, quite spacey, and quite good. Its cover is posted below. Then in 1974, I found Hero & Heroine, which at least one person (not me, honest.) has described as "the greatest album of all time". That's not far from the truth.

I'm tempted to give Blue Angel a rare 10-star rating, except for one thing - it isn't even in the top-three Strawbs albums of all time. In order, those would be Hero & Heroine, Bursting At The Seams, Ghosts, and Grave New World. Blue Angel checks in at #5, and there's still a couple Strawbs albums I haven't listened to. So we'll stick with 9½-stars, and give this our highest recommendation, provided you can find a copy.

Strawbs - Grave New World

The album cover that started it all. Buying LP's by unknown groups just because the album jakcets are très cool has its risks, but this one was a wonderful discovery.

Lest We Forget...

It was 40 years ago today that the government blew away Dr. Martin Luther King as he stood on his balcony at a Memphis hotel. Anyone who thinks that a lone redneck yahoo could have pulled this off probably believes in the tooth fairy too.

The assassination came one day after King's famous "I've been to the mountaintop" speech, in which he seems hauntingly aware that he is soon to die. Here's the relevant excerpt...

"Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." (Martin Luther King - 04/03/68)

We pause to remember this tragic event, and wonder when right-wing brownshirts will realize that murder is NOT an acceptable means of voicing one's political opinions.

Eloy - Planets

Artist : Eloy (formed in 1969)

Album Title : Planets (1981)

Genre : Progressive Symphonic Space Rock

YouTube Link : point of no return

Rating : ***** ** (out of 10*)

This Week I'm Listening To...
Eloy is a German band with a sound that's a blend of Pink Floyd and Yes. Their last studio album came out in 1998, and they haven't toured since 2003, so they may be defunct now.

Eloy is not named for that famous city in Arizona; instead it's a reference to the race of the Eloi from the book The Time Machine. The Eloi were the primary munchies food of the evil Morlocks.

Planets came out in 1981, which was in the heyday of Eloy. It is a concept album, and was planned to be a double-LP. Unfortunately, the record company decided one disc was enough, so you get half-a-story. The concluding half had to wait for the next LP, A Time To Turn, which came out in 1982.

What's To Like...
Expertly crafted songs and fantastic musicianship. Check out the YouTube link (above) for a song, Point Of No Return, from this album. Cool album covers (the British cover is posted below), and lots of prog music from beginning to end.

What's Not To Like...
Lead singer Frank Bornemann's voice leaves something to be desired, and it's evident from the lyrics that English is not his native tongue.

Although this whole album is good, there's nothing that really jumps out and grabs you. I prefer their 1979 effort, Silent Cries & Mighty Echoes, which is much closer to the Pink Floyd sound.

Yes , as in "Overrated"...
Eloy-Planets is what Yes could've sounded like if they had been able to get rid of their pretentious attitude. I have several Yes LP's, and a couple Rick Wakeman albums as well. None overly impress me. Too much fluff; not enough substance.

Which is a shame, because the concept behind the Yes-sound has always had great potential. It's nice to hear a group like Eloy grabbing that concept, and taking it to another level of proficiency.

But I digress. Planets is a good album, but it's not the best of what Eloy has to offer. If you can ignore the vocals, and concentrate on the music, you'll find this album a treat. Then if you are in need of a Floydian fix, go out and buy Silent Cries & Mighty Echoes.

Eloy - Planets (British cover)

Cool, huh?

A River Runs Through It

Title : A River Runs Through It (1976; 104 (217)pages)

Author : Norman Maclean (1902-1990)

Genre : American Literature

Rating : C-

This Month I Read...
73-year old Norman Maclean's debut novella was an instant hit. A semi-autobiographical (I love that term. It means, "I'm gonna write about my life, but I get to lie at times.") story about the family relationships, primarily between Norman, his dad and his younger brother. The setting is ...erm... fly-fishing. Pure and simple.

Being only 104 pages long, ARRTI is bundled with two other Maclean stories - one about a summer he spent in a logging camp; the other about a year he worked for the US Forest Service.

What's To Like...
Maclean has a nice, poetic style. If you like your storylines heavy on the drama and light on the action, you'll love ARRTI. I don't think anyone before Maclean ever thought to use fly-fishing as a metaphor for life.

Personally, I liked the two "add on" stories better. They have a bit more plot, a bit more action, and (best of all) give a glimpse into what being a logger and a ranger was like 90 years ago. Daily life was a lot different then, and it's enlightening to get insight into it. In that respect, it reminded me a lot of Isaac's Storm, which was reviewed here.

What's Not To Like...
Did I mention it's light on action? In truth, ARRTI is devoid of action.

Plot-wise (PWP), little brother is self-destructive, and the 30-something author can't figure out how to help him. He asks his Dad, he of zero parenting skills, who also has nothing to offer. A lazy bum of a brother-in-law shows up, who at least puts the "fun" back into "dysfunctional" by boinking the town whore and drinking everybody's beer. The Maclean women's sole activity is nagging the Maclean men.

All-in-all, pretty uninspiring stuff. Alternatively, those who loved ARRTI call the book "dark". Oh, the book was made into a movie, starring Robert Redford, and my carpool partner (who has excellent movie tastes) says it's a yawner too.

Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it...
Judging from other reviews, I am in the minority when it comes to ARRTI. They gush about the poetry, the philosophy, the metaphysics, and the key to life, the universe, and everything else. Here's one example :

(ARRTI is) "detailed descriptions of fly-fishing and nature to engage with a number of profound metaphysical questions". Whoa! Way deep, huh?

El toro poo-poo. Maclean wrote about fly-fishing cuz it's one of the few things he knew something about. Anything can be hyped into being a metaphor for life. For instance, here's a quote from yesterday at MSNBC.com, coinciding with the advent of the baseball season :

"Bart Giamatti, the former commisioner of baseball, wrote eloquently about that journey that begins with the batter standing at home, trying first to leave it and then to get back - to be safe once again at home. For him, it was a grand metaphor of life, this circuituous journey that could be fraught with danger and obstacles, that could demand daring and bravery to complete."

Wow! More way deep stuff, eh? IMHO, they're both ridiculous, unless you happen to be a baseball or fly-fishing fanatic.

But I digress. For me ARRTI was a ploddingly slow read, lacking any plot and action, and saved only by the two add-on tales. I must admit it's well-written; now if Maclean could only have thought of some sort of storyline to drape his flowery philosophy around. If you want to see this sort of genre done much better, try The Thin Place, by Kathryn Davis, which we'll review in the near future.